Imagine this: Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and you’re single this year. It’s a tale as old as time: come February 14, your Instagram feed is flooded with pictures of seemingly happy couples doing cutesy things, and stores are filled with red roses, chocolate, and lovey-dovey quotes. As if dating wasn’t already hard enough, the hype surrounding V-Day can make you feel lonely and disappointed. If you’re feeling a little left out, you might return to your normal routine of eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s on the couch with your roommates and watching New Girl (no? just me?). However, this Valentine’s Day, I say it’s time to try something different.
Maybe you do have a date for V-Day but you’re doing long-distance right now, or maybe you and your SO choose to celebrate after February 14 in order to avoid the crowds of people on dinner dates. Maybe you love celebrating Galentine’s Day on February 13, but the day after feels a little more sad and lonely. Whatever your relationship status is this year, it’s time to take care of yourself.
It’s not uncommon to feel all the feels on V-Day, especially if you’re single. A 2019 study conducted by the dating app Plenty of Fish found that 43% of singles consider Valentine’s Day to be the most pressure-filled holiday and 60% of those singles are members of Gen Z. So, what can you do to alleviate some of that pressure? Um, isn’t it obvious? Put yourself first!
Stop the comparison game.
A large part of taking care of yourself is taking care of your mind, especially on Valentine’s Day when it’s so easy to have FOMO. Comparing yourself to couples you see in real life and on the internet can lead us down a dark path of self-judgment and insecurity. Don’t even go there, bestie. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat or journal some positive daily affirmations. Get all dressed up to go to your favorite coffee shop and read a book you love. Wake up early to make that SoulCycle class. Enjoy your favorite chick flick. Whatever makes you happy and puts you in a mood with unshakeable confidence is what you need to do. You are your own main character today.
Take a social media break.
Where does comparison breed and spread its nasty roots the fastest? Social media. It’s called doom scrolling for a reason. Yes, that couple that has been together since freshman year of high school is still together and appears to be doing better than ever. And it may be hard to manifest love like Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds (JK, but seriously, that would be hard to beat). No matter how many times you refresh your feed on Valentine’s Day, you won’t be able to escape that perfectly curated rose bouquet or movie scene-worthy candlelit dinner setup. So, just stop scrolling altogether. Put the phone down, or better yet — go ahead and delete the apps in the morning if they make you feel bad. I promise you can redownload them again tomorrow, and you’ll save yourself precious time and energy that would otherwise be spent obsessing over every post and story.
focus on a personalized self-care routine.
Although it seems like a holiday exclusive to couples, Valentine’s Day can also be a day to celebrate you. So, don’t talk yourself out of making time for yourself. In order to make yourself a priority, you need to carve out time for uninterrupted self-care — no work, roommates, or dating apps to distract you. Use February 14 to do all of the things that make you happy, whether it’s heading to the gym (because self-care is physical and mental), lighting a candle and taking a long, luxurious shower with your full skincare and hair mask routine, snuggling on the couch with some erotic audio or starting that spicy romance novel you just saw on #BookTok. Of course, do all of this while enjoying your pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
On February 14, it’s time to flip the script and take your mindset from “I wish this day never existed,” to “today is the best day because I can spoil the heck out of myself in the name of self-care.” You can — and should — practice self-care any day of the week throughout the year, just make it a point to mark February 14 on your calendar this time around.