If you stalked me on social media right now, you’d assume I was single. Come February 14th, if you were to watch my annoyed face as I scroll through a feed full of cute couples’ photos, you’d think I was jealously single.
You’d be wrong on both accounts.
I’m certainly not jealous, and neither are the single people whose feeds will inevitably be flooded with V-Day posts in a few short weeks. It’s simple: I’m baffled that so many people feel the need to broadcast their relationship status online. A relationship doesn’t require an audience, and your audience isn’t sitting with bated breath waiting for an update or sneak peek this Valentine’s Day.
You may already be planning what you’re going to post on Valentine’s Day, but please, consider leaving your phone at home and living in the moment.
Your Valentine’s Day plans should be about you and your partner only.
If you’re planning to do something romantic, let it be between you two. Your followers are not part of your narrative, and they don’t need – nor do many of us want – to know the details of your relationship.
Keeping your plans between the two of you will also make everything feel much more special. The less you publicize your plans, the more intimate the day will feel since nobody else will be even slightly involved. Not posting anything with my boyfriend during the year we’ve been together has only strengthened our relationship. The time we spend together isn’t disrupted by a need to post on social media. Instead, we can focus all of our energy on each other.
Besides that, nobody really cares to see your V-Day plans anyway, to put it bluntly. Say your friends or your mother ask you for pictures. Of course, you should share with them, but chances are your followers are not dying to see what you wore or what you ate for dinner.
It may be hurtful To single people.
Even if it’s not your intention to be boastful, a post about your Valentine’s Day date can come off as bragging or fishing for compliments to those who don’t have the opportunity to spend the day with someone they love. Do you want to rub salt into the wounds of the hopeless romantics with a yearly reminder that they haven’t yet found what they’re looking for?
Social media is not a love language.
Taking the time to plan, shoot and post a cute photo will disrupt your date night, no matter how good at it you are. Instead of happily chatting with your SO, you’ll be hovering over your phone, trying to find the right heart GIF to pair with the photo of your SO. Should you write “I love you” or “ILY”? How are you ever going to come up with the proper caption? The whole process takes your time and thoughts off of your SO and focuses them on something that doesn’t matter.
In fact, a Shotkit study of 2000 people currently in a relationship proved that those who don’t post about their SO on social media have much happier relationships. Another study from researchers at Northwestern University, which looked at the connection between relationships and their visibility on Facebook, hypothesized that people who post about their SO are much more insecure in their relationship. Basically, science says it’ll benefit your relationship to stop publicizing it and start living in the moment.
Posting on social media isn’t an effective way for you to express your love and appreciation for another person, and though you may not intend for it to, it can be perceived as bragging or showing off. A photo and caption don’t equate to telling someone you love them in person, and the likes you earn don’t affect your love in real life. So instead of fishing for likes online, try focusing on your happiness in real-time this year.