It’s always been true that women are less researched in the medical sphere, to the point where the healing properties of menstrual blood have only just begun to be researched. Our internal composition and physical bodies are constantly under attack as a result, with car crash dummies, respiratory equipment, and even bicycles not being designed for us. Some might turn around and say at least we’re making progress when it comes to our mental wellness. Spoiler alert: sometimes, we’re not.
not only is our wellness viewed as lesser…
the pilates girl and wellness as exclusion & a way to measure one’s worth
Wellness can and has become a way to measure someone’s worth. Take this article, for instance, which discusses the expectations of men on reality dating TV, particularly when it comes to pilates.
Pilates as a form of physical wellness does not always have respect. First, there are those countless TikToks of people, typically men, who think the exercise will be easy for them. They get humbled in the video by the end, which is nice. The other kind of TikTok about Pilates that strays away from general wellness is similar to the one above. There is this idea of a ‘Pilates girl,’ attributed very much with femininity. As this article states: “The Pilates girl doesn’t go to the gym, where she might encounter other men. (They might look at her! She might look at them!) Instead, she opts for 50-minute classes that are assumed to be filled with other White, lithe women.”
The TikTok embedded above very much plays into that stereotypical ‘feminine’ Pilates girl. He mentions this idea of women not talking to men, of course assuming men are not taking the classes. Here, physical wellness becomes a state of control. If you look up ‘pilates body,’ all you will see are images of blonde white girls in Lululemon. The ‘pilates girl’ is desirable, so of course she must be depicted as white and blonde. Likewise, she is desirable because she does not engage with men—she goes to Pilates!
Besides this, I want to highlight how this idea of the ‘pilates girl’ can influence women and their perception of wellness, not just how men choose to interpret it. There are articles by the New York Times about the politics of pilates, and essentially about its relation to an idea of thinness. Women are seen as desirable and feminine without the bulky muscles that come from other kind of sports. More than that, it can be isolating. This image of the ‘pilates girl’ is a limited one, excluding many people. Wellness should not be about judgment.
the ‘soft life’ and wellness as dependency
A lot of creators link this idea of having a ‘soft life’ with wellness. An example of a video that takes this in a slightly different direction is here:
Unfortunately, the majority of videos around this idea of the ‘soft life’ are actually far-right dog whistles.
Videos similar in tone to this one, #softlife, are much more rooted in men as ‘providers’ and women as dependants. It’s like that ‘girl math’ trend all over again, just putting women down for no reason.
Mariel Barnes said, “I think the stereotype of who goes to Pilates is that aesthetic,” she said. “It’s this slim, toned svelte woman who is younger, has no curves, a flat stomach and ab definition. And they use Pilates as a euphemism for getting that kind of woman.” Here, women’s wellness becomes a code for dependency. Wellness should be strengthening to one’s core, not debilitating.
On social media, the virtues of Pilates are extolled by both men and women creators who don’t make explicitly political content but who promote an aspirational lifestyle rooted in wealth, traditional gender roles and living a “soft life.”
https://19thnews.org/2026/03/manosphere-reveres-pilates-girl/
Ultimately, women’s wellness can be depicted in a way that undermines the real meaning of the term. Thus, we can apply it disingenuously in our own lives.
… it can be lesser.
your workout fit is a product, not clothing.
There was uproar a few years ago about microplastics and fitness clothing. The essentials were that since much of workout clothing tends to be from synthetic materials which contain microplastics, there is a higher likelihood of them entering one’s body. Sweat may be a factor that pushes microplastics further into the skin, as well as the idea that workout clothes should be tight against one’s skin, so anything present in the material is in much more direct contact with us. Ultimately, this highlighted that wellness in the form of fitness clothing can be harmful and targeted product rather than a healthy choice.
surgeries as ‘self-care’
Surgeries are a huge undertaking, and can have very real ramifications on the body. Cosmetic surgery is no different. This is a problem seen around the world, not just in Western countries. As mentioned in the article linked, surgeons can be known to capitalise off of a fear of ageing and commit malpractice during women’s cosmetic procedures. This is one form of harm.
There is another, more internal harm: this idea of cosmetic surgery as a wellness procedure. When cosmetic surgery starts selling self-actualisation, steer clear. It is one thing for a burn victim to get a skin graft. It is quite another for a celebrity to get their fifth round of Botox to stave off ageing.
The fear of ageing is very prevalent, to the point where cosmetic procedures are marketed as ‘wellness.’
diet culture
Too many TikToks these days sell diet culture in an innocent way. Much like the other TikToks I’ve linked here, a lot of these ‘diet culture TikToks’ hide under the guise of wellness. Instead, they sell you disordered eating.
to by honest, it’s not just women at stake here.
there’s this pervasive idea of ‘optimisation’ that is hurting us all.
The manosphere has its own problems, of course. Yet I think the issues that present themselves within women’s wellness can sometimes be both more subtle and more venomous. This constant ideal of ‘optimisation’ and ‘-maxxing’ is relentless. Everything is performance and everything is about scaling up, winning, etc. It started with hustle culture creating an imbalance between the self and work. Now ‘business terms’ are part of our general vocabulary.
Life, however, is not a business model. Life is to be lived. No wonder there is a war on humanities right now—this is what they teach us. Not everything is about scaling and profit and revenue, and then ‘recharging’: sometimes life is about wallowing, lying down, breathing. A human life is not about ‘optimisation.’ It’s not really about anything other than living.
The Government of Canada, among others, has put out a few pieces on this idea of optimising the human body. Most of these talk about both the risks and potential benefits. For me, whilst I like the idea of being the best I can be, I think of it as being part of my outlook, the way that I love, and my personality, not in terms of my hustling or how much I will give up for the sake of a corporation. Productivity and human life should never go hand in hand. We exist not to slave alway at a supposed ideal of perfection we will never realise, but to become and be ourselves.
everything is ‘self-care’
This targets everyone: this idea of being attractive tying to one’s self care. Every video is a ten-step self-care GRWM video. As this article puts it: ‘Healthy change asks, “I wonder what I need?” Self harassment asks, “What is wrong with me?”’ That is what a lot of wellness culture is today: a barrage of things to fix what is wrong with you. Self-care in the form of self-disgust.
“The endless seeking for self-care can actually become self-punishment.”
Alex Cooper
This idea of self-punishment does not exist in a bubble. I’ve written about mental health in this vein before, so I won’t repeat myself here, but feel free to look at this article to see my thoughts.
Becoming a person is no longer about just existing. It is now about being a project and ‘working on oneself.’ I don’t think changing oneself is necessarily bad; in fact, there can be many benefits, and it is a natural occurrence. It’s when you start seeking for things to change (especially under the guise of ‘self-care’) that things get dangerous. ‘Self-improvement’ becomes torture.
these negative ideas of wellness form part of the basis of what i like to call ‘the war on human experience.’
Rather than experience happiness, people are performing happiness. This optimisation and what I will term ‘wellness-maxxing’ breeds self-hatred and dissatisfaction. Everything must be analysed and optimised instead of simply experienced.
This runs parallel to the war on humanities I mentioned before. The humanities are becoming devalued, defunded, but they’re not disappearing. In fact, they’re ever more important every day.
Just because the media tries to sell you their form of wellness doesn’t mean you have to take it. Live. Experience. Thrive.