It doesn’t really do much.
Sometimes the urge to complain about every little thing that happens during our day seems the most appropriate thing to do. Especially when we face higher-stress levels than usual and put a lot of pressure on ourselves. However, complaining doesn’t take one far. Unless it’s far from being connected to your loved ones, as they eventually will get tired of hearing all your own complaints. Let’s be honest: being around people who fuss is exhausting. It drains energy. So, you don’t want to be that person, neither for yourself nor for others.
To be the best version of ourselves, it all starts with the single activity of watching where we direct our energy in our lives. If we spend too much time complaining about everything that’s happening and little to none to find solutions to fix it and be happier, we’re going to feel burnout and unsatisfied.
Directing our energy towards something truly reflects our happiness and fulfillment. Notice that when you’re on your happiest of days, things seem to be just a little rock along the way that can be kicked out far and never seen again.
Now, please don’t confuse the complaining cut down as toxic positivity. It’s not. The truth is that sometimes we do need to vent and share about what is bothering us. But noticing how long you spend in that stage makes the most difference in your mood.
“See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”
—Ralph Marston
Self-awareness is the key to noticing patterns that may not be healthy for us. Constant complaining brings one thing for sure: more complaining. You attract what you seek, and if you’re constantly in this position of wording everything in your day that doesn’t sit right with you, that’s what you’ll be attracting—more things to complain about.
Your complaining mood can be associated with how we go about our routine and what we surround ourselves with, as a lack of awareness. Here are a few things that may lower your energy and make you complain.
FOOD
What we eat is literally the fuel we put into our bodies. If we constantly eat unhealthy or unbalanced meals, such as not having a consistent plan with it for most of the weekdays, our energy will be lower. Low energy can result in more mood swings, irritability, and tiredness, all leading to the main action of complaining. Try switching what you eat for one day and watch how that can impact your lifestyle and energy levels.
ENGAGEMENT
Noticing what we constantly engage with is an excellent strategy to understand why we’re complaining about the stuff we are now. Are you reading a book that makes you anxious? Are you following an Instagram account whose posts constantly remind you of something you should be doing just because everyone else does it? Are you listening to podcasts that drain your daily enthusiasm?
Whatever it may be, become aware of it and take action. Unfollow someone that doesn’t bring you the best of energy. Quit watching that TV show that makes you uncomfortable or anxious. Opt to read daily news during the day instead of starting it off or ending it that way.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
Acknowledge that some things are beyond our control. There is a specific boundary between what is possible for us to do to get what we want and what depends on other situations or people. Overthinking and stressing about things that were not one hundred percent dependent on you can be one of the leading causes of your complaints. Let go of the urge to control every little aspect of your day, enjoy its course, and you’ll see how lighter your shoulders will feel.
“Acceptance means no complaining, and happiness means no complaining about the things over which you can do nothing.”
—Wayne W. Dyer
According to previous research in the neuroscience field, the average person complains about 30 times a day. Yes, you read that correctly. 30 times a day. That is a lot. And the main reason we complain so much is that we either don’t accept things as they are, or we understand how it is but choose to not take action to change things for the better.
But we don’t want to be part of that statistic. So, here are some steps that you can start implementing in your life whenever you feel like the urge to complain is knocking on your front door.
MIND… ESCAPE?
Have you ever tried to close your eyes and take deep breaths during a difficult day? When you do that next time, try to think of a happy moment that you lived. This memory can bring a powerful mood change to your current situation and make you feel what you were feeling in that happy memory. Think of that amazing trip you took with your family or that fun dinner with your friends. Whatever that memory may be, small or big life moments, connect with it.
WORDS OUT
This activity can be something you do at any point in your routine when you’re feeling in need of some clarity. Grab a piece of paper and start writing down all the words that come to your mind. If you’re feeling angry or frustrated, don’t be scared to let all those bad feelings out on that piece of paper. No one will see it, but the most important thing is that you’re letting it out of your mind. We often underestimate the power of words, but they can be the heroes at the end of the day.
VISUALIZATION
It can be hard to get through a challenging stage in our lives, either in our professional careers or personal life. Whatever it may be, visualize what you want to have in the future and try to see how challenging situations can contribute to getting where you want to. Either through experience or lessons or simply taking the time to figure out your next steps. Nothing happens in our lives without a purpose. So, keep that in mind, and you may change your perspective on things.
GRATITUDE
Gratitude may be over-spoken about these days, but the power a simple gratitude activity can have in our days is without limits. Being quiet for two minutes per day and listing three to five things you are grateful that you have can be a life-changer. There are things to be thankful for every day of our lives, starting with the fact that we’re alive and able to change the course of our lives to achieve our dreams.
Complaints don’t do good for any of the people involved, either for those listening or for those complaining themselves. Whatever the case may be, being aware of such behavior is the first step toward a change. Remember that everyone complains occasionally, so don’t mistake this with your need to talk to a friend about a difficult situation you’re going through. Whatever it may be, you will eventually find a way to be your happier self!