Sure, everyone is thankful for family, friends, and food, but we need to start giving thanks to one of the truly more important things in life: good sex. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to show your lover how grateful you are for them by whipping out one of these Thanksgiving sex positions.Â
It’s easy to think that Thanksgiving is just a holiday where your whole family makes up things to be grateful for so they can watch a parade and eat dinner at 4 pm. Malarkey. Thanksgiving is actually a challenge to see how sneaky and freaky you can get in the presence of people who changed your diapers. The singles go out hooking up with their high school crushes after a night at their hometown bar. Couples are sneaking in quickies in their childhood bunk beds. Long-distance lovers are sexting like their lives depend on it. A family argument is practically an invitation to slink out and try to relieve your tension.
Whether or not we all admit it, Thanksgiving is one of the hornier holidays. (Sorry, Grandma, but it’s the truth.) So, why not embrace it? Here are four Thanksgiving sex positions you can try out this year — trust me, you’ll be thankful you did.
- The Stuffing
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The Stuffing is a modified rendition of reverse cowgirl, which gives Partner One much more leverage to ride, and Partner Two a way better view. Partner Two starts by lying down on their back with their legs spread, knees bent, and feet planted on the bed. Instead of straddling them like a traditional reverse cowgirl, Partner One plants themself between Partner Two’s legs, facing Partner Two’s toes, wrapping their calves under Partner Two’s knees for leverage, and using their hands on the bed to keep steady. This way, Partner Two penetrates Partner One, and Partner One is able to ride until… well, stuffed!
If that sounds super complicated, don’t fear: @Hellojennykeane on TikTok provided an excellent demonstration.Â
- Gobble Gobble
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Thanksgiving is the perfect occasion to gobble turkey, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, vulva, penis, and anything in between. This position is created for the latter two, but I’m not here to judge if this is how you gobble your pumpkin pie. In this position, Partner One lies with their back flat on the bed and head hanging off the side. From there, they gobble up Partner Two. It’s a pretty fabulous way to enjoy dessert. Since this position makes it challenging for Partner One to move their head or speak, establishing a tap or squeeze as a safety signal if things need to slow down or stop.Â
- The Hometown Hookup
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Of course, I have to include a car sex position, because I know y’all are sneaking out of granny’s house to get it on. This position is best done in the passenger seat (shoutout passenger princesses), so the horn doesn’t go off when you O. Step one is to recline that baby back at about a 45-degree angle. Partner one lies so that their back is on the seat, as best it can be, and their bum is hanging off. Legs should be spread, and knees should be tucked as close to the chest as possible. It’s a bit of an ab workout. Partner Two will penetrate while situated between Partner One and the dashboard. Some call it cramped, I call it intimate. It’s a great alternative for those who don’t want to repeat cowgirl every time they screw in their vehicle.
- Turkey Baster
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Apologizing in advance for the name, but a writer only has so many options when assigned to write about “Thanksgiving Sex Positions.” I could have written Hamlet, but Shakespeare would have never conceived the Turkey Baster. In this position, Partner One sits on a bed, couch, or chair. Partner Two lies belly first over their legs. Then Partner One uses Partner Two’s sex toy of choice on them. It’s classic, dominant, and makes Partner Two look like a Turkey. I mean, what’s hotter than a Turkey on Thanksgiving?
These four sex positions are sure to give you something to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. So, I guess, you’re welcome.