Going through a breakup sucks. That’s a simple fact – we are all aware of this through our own experiences or through the experience of others. It’s something that is widely talked about, represented in songs and movies, and even covered in guides on how to get over one. However, a breakup that is not talked about enough is friendship breakups!
People tend to think that they are not as serious as relationship breakups and therefore easier to brush off. My hot take: I think that friendship breakups are worse than relationship breakups. Maybe it’s the fact that you don’t expect to grow apart or fall out with your friend – someone who has been with you through so many ups and downs.
Since friendship breakups are not often talked about, there’s not much advice on the internet on how to get over one. I think everyone is just trying to figure it out at the same time. I had to figure it out, with the support of my friends and family of course, not that long ago, which is why I want to share some helpful tips to get over a friendship breakup.
Freshly out of the fallout, you’re going to be sad, and you’re going to want to cry. I think the healthiest thing that you can do is cry. Often, we feel like crying but we brush it off because we think that it’s a silly thing to cry about. This just causes you to string the pain along, and the longer you push it down, the longer you’ll feel it. Losing someone who meant so much to you is a big loss, and you are allowed to feel sad and heartbroken, so allow yourself to grieve it.
One important thing to do is to not gravitate to bitterness. Either blaming the other person or yourself is not going to fix anything and will only make you feel resentful. Instead, embrace the ending to this chapter. Some people are not meant to be in our lives, and that is okay. Be thankful for the memories and close the chapter. If it’s meant to come back to you, it will. End on a good note for yourself.
Another thing that is important to practice – not just for getting over a friendship breakup, but in general – is learning to be alone. I know that seems terrifying at times, but you don’t have to do something major. You can start off small by going on solo dates to a coffee shop or shopping at the mall. For example, I like to go to museums a lot by myself – no one is rushing me, I can go at my own pace, and I can see everything I want to see. Being okay with yourself is important. Therefore, you will not have to rely on others so much to make you feel whole.
Additionally, it’s important to be open to gaining new friendships. This does not mean going out and finding a replacement for that friendship – because no friendships are the same – but instead starting new chapters with new people. There are so many amazing people out there that can make your life a million times better. I know that since I’ve been at UCLA, I’ve met so many cool and friendly people that have added so much to my life, and I’m so grateful for not shutting myself out from meeting others. The best people show up at the most random times.
Lastly, know that everyone processes breakups differently, so don’t feel like you have to follow all these tips strictly!