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6 Ways To Get Over Someone You Never Actually Dated

You can always read about how to get over an ex, which is fine, but what about the more awkward and blurrier moments in our lives? Here’s one; the ex who you never dated or even talked to, the one who may not even acknowledge your existence.  Although you can’t find a Facebook status for this situation, it certainly does happen.

For those who haven’t gone through this situation, you may be wondering, “What could possibly go wrong with someone you have had no interactions with?” Well, it’s the battle here that’s a little more complex, as it is mostly between yourself; your feelings, and your thoughts.

In the beginning, it is actually a really nice feeling, feeling the adrenaline kick in every time you see or think about your crush. Suddenly, there’s more to your daily routine and thoughts. You feel all giggly inside. You start to believe in the butterflies’ nest in your stomach.

But then, you start to get frustrated. You don’t do anything about it, you don’t try to talk to them and, when you do try, you talk yourself out of it. Then, you realize that this way they won’t ever know you exist, and the cycle repeats. It sucks. You start thinking that everything would be so much easier if you could control your feelings and, for once, not feel so attracted towards that person. After all, chances are you don’t even know that person yet.

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Sometimes, when you actually do end up interacting with that person, they don’t match the image you had built of them in your head over time. In this situation, your fantasies and reality don’t come eye to eye and that can be very disappointing.

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Here are some techniques and things you can try to feel better and maybe to get over that person:

Stop stalking them on social media. Don’t stay connected.

Clear your Instagram search.

Clear your Facebook search.

Don’t turn to Linkedin. Yes, we know you can go that far.

Don’t ask people about them.

Give your wild imagination a break.

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Consider the relationship and be honest with yourself. You were never together.  There’s only so much room for a “relationship-raise,” sometimes the world is running on a budget. Sorry.

Remind yourself that it isn’t the end of the world.

A lot of people may say that you were born alone and thus don’t need anyone. I say, you weren’t born alone, there must have been a doctor in the room. Stop trying to make your world revolve around one person, love and support can be obtained from many resources. Butterflies come from enjoying your life and the things that you do, whether it be a career or a good nap after a long day. Which brings me to my next point…

Keep yourself busy.

If you are finding it hard to stop thinking about them, then it’s probably because you’ve made a routine out of it and had previously made time for it. One technique that would help is substituting that time with other useful things. Start meditating, try out new restaurants, start watching a new Netflix series, or sign up for salsa classes- my favorite!

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Don’t be afraid to try again.

Just because something failed for you once, doesn’t mean that’s always the case. Don‘t be discouraged to try new things and explore. My dad always reminds me and tells me that trying to fail is failing to try.

Fill a “Break-up Journal”.

This is the only time you should actually unleash your imagination. Swallow up the rejection and enjoy yourself in this book-shaped companion that sends you on a tour towards restoring your self-confidence, and dignity. Vent in it and get all of the thoughts out of your head; let it all out and get your sense of control back. You’ve always had the “journalism” in you.

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Remember not to be so harsh on yourself, nor the world. Take it easy, step by step. Know that you have options. Someone out there could be the one having all of those emotions towards you as well and you may never know it. It’s okay to have feelings. Don’t ignore your feelings, they’re a sign that you’re human.

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Instead, reflect and learn. Whatever you do, always prioritize your physical AND mental well-being.

Full-time psychology student, part- time poet. In love with words since the age of 11. Enjoys expressing myself and talking about things that matter.
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