With all of the fitspiration floating around on the Internet, it’s hard to not want to start a new health routine. There’s the Paleo diet, tea detoxes and e-book workout guides. For one UF student, bikini bodybuilding was the fitness fad on her mind.
Sandra started bodybuilding at the start of her freshman fall semester. She worked out three times a day and ate less than 1,200 calories. Body building and school were her life. By the time she competed in her first bikini competition at the end of her freshman year, she had the body she always dreamed of.
Now Sandra is a sophomore. Following her first competition, she quit bodybuilding. Some might think letting fitness become their life is a small price to pay for a fit physique. Sandra is here to tell you why it wasn’t worth it for her.
Her Campus: Why exactly did you start bodybuilding?
Sandra: “I had always been really committed to health in different ways since my sophomore year of high school. That was when I made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and be healthier. I cut out sugar from my diet and started running. Ever since then I liked experimenting with different ways to change my body. When I came to college, I met a girl in my sorority that was doing it. I’m very competitive, so it kind of felt like I didn’t have a choice. If there was a way to look better than I did now, then I had to do it.”
HC: What would have been a typical day for you during this time?
S: “A typical day for me would be waking up at 6 or 7 in the morning and doing cardio on an empty stomach. Then I would drink a protein shake and go to my personal trainer and do weights with him for an hour. Then I would eat egg whites and oatmeal, which I remember so vividly. Then I would take a shower and do school work, and then I would do another workout in the evening. That was all there was really time for. I never came around to my sorority house during my spring semester. I feel like I missed out on a lot of social opportunities. I took it and made it my life. That’s kind of how it has to be with bodybuilding.”
HC: Did you experience any health issues during this time?
S: “Absolutely. If you look at pictures of me back then, you can tell my hair was thinner. I also suffered from amenorrhea for seven months as a result. That definitely is not a sign of good health – that is something that happens when people have eating disorders. I didn’t consider this to be an eating disorder because it’s called bodybuilding. The name creates the illusion of health. I thought this was the healthiest a person could be.”
HC: Do you think, looking back now, this was an eating disorder?
S: “I think it very well could have been an eating disorder. It had all the signs of an eating disorder. I had body image issues, for sure. That’s the thing about doing this. There is no finish line. No matter how thin I got, and I got to the point where my waist was 21 inches, I still thought I was fat. I never thought I looked good.”
HC: What was the overall environment like with training sessions and competitions?
S: “It was definitely a very supportive environment. Bodybuilders are their own community. I think they’re great people. I am not trying to disgrace bodybuilding. I met some amazing people that devote their life to it. What people don’t realize is it takes years and years of dedication. If that’s what you want to do, that’s fine. However, you’re going to have no social life. It’s going to be hard to meet people. I mean, I would lay in bed at night and Google photos of mac ‘n’ cheese because I was so hungry the whole time. Even though the environment was really supportive, for me, and for most people out there, it just wasn’t worth it.”
HC: When did you decide to quit bodybuilding?
S: “After my competition, I was so deprived I got off stage and immediately ate four slices of cheesecake and two slices of pizza and wasn’t even full. I probably easily ate 10,000 calories that day. At that point, I hadn’t given up yet. I didn’t realize that the reason I couldn’t stop binging was because my body needed it — I saw it as a sign of weakness. I tried to stay with it. I continued to go to the gym and work with my coach. A couple months after, I found out it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. When I studied abroad it was especially hard. I tried to meal prep there. With this amazing experience in front of me, I realized how silly it was to try to meal prep when I had all of this culture and food out there to explore. I started to let go. When I let go, I gained a lot of weight. There was a lot of fluctuation. I continued to want to stay with it. I had been weightlifting all summer and couldn’t do cardio. I ended up realizing that if I wanted to keep my shape when I was weightlifting, I would still have to meal prep and only cheat once a week with food. I kind of realized that this wasn’t the lifestyle for me. It requires so much discipline. When I came back to school, I started doing cardio again. I felt so much better. I remembered an article that I read about how you shouldn’t do the exercise that people tell you to do, you should do what makes you feel best. I stuck with running, and I might not have the muscle mass I used to, but I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin.”
HC: What advice do you have coming out of this?
S: “My advice is for people to not compare themselves so much to the things that they see out there. What you see, especially with social media, is not even half the battle. If I wasn’t a college student, I could work out six times a day and drink green smoothies like a Victoria’s Secret model. People would think I was happy. That is not necessarily the case. People don’t realize how much sacrifice is involved. It was probably 95 percent of my life at the time — no time for family, no time for friends. If that’s truly what you want to do, then I commend you. But if you are unhappy trying to achieve a certain body, think of how unhappy you will be trying to maintain it. My main advice would be to just not compare and find a healthy life that works for you. Be happy with who you are.”
We all might want to try a new fitness trend at one point or another. It is important, however, to distinguish what will work with your lifestyle and boundaries. We all have some issues with our body image, and we might think changing our bodies will make us happier. However, take it from someone who had her “dream” body. Your body does not define your happiness or who you are. While living a healthy life is important, you do not need to let it control your life.
Photos Courtesy of Sandra