About a year ago, my sister upgraded to an Apple Watch and gave me her old Fitbit, as she wouldn’t be needing it anymore. After getting used to wearing something big and clunky on my wrist (I’m not usually a watch wearer), that Fitbit practically stayed on 24/7, even when I wasn’t exercising. I initially thought it would be a fun and helpful way to keep track of my health and stay motivated, but my relationship with my Fitbit gradually turned into something much more toxic.
I became obsessed with tracking how many steps I walked, how many calories I burned, and even my heart rate throughout the day. After the first few times wearing it at the gym, I was soon able to gauge how many calories I thought I was supposed to be burning during my workouts, and if I didn’t reach that number by the time I was done I would feel disappointed in myself, rather than proud for getting in some exercise. My workouts soon felt like a stressful race against the clock: if I didn’t burn X calories in X minutes then I had failed that day. So much for those post-workout endorphins.
I’ve never been the person who counts my calories or watches carefully what I eat, but wearing that Fitbit and seeing my daily burned calories made me question myself at times. I would catch myself thinking, “I definitely ate more in calories than what I burned today, maybe tomorrow I need to eat less or exercise harder.” I believed that I always had to be burning way more calories than I consumed. I became obsessed with making sure I was always in a calorie deficit, which, if not monitored correctly, could do more harm than good to your body.
Even with the steps, I was obsessed with reaching that recommended 10,000 daily step goal. This was especially hard for me to do this past summer since my jobs didn’t require a lot of movement, and I absolutely despise running. Most days I didn’t even come close to 10,000 steps, which made me feel horrible about myself, thinking that all my hard work in the gym wouldn’t even matter anymore. Exercise is supposed to make you feel good about yourself, but because of the Fitbit I was feeling the exact opposite.
To clarify, there is nothing wrong with caring about your health and using a Fitbit or fitness tracker to help you stay on top of your goals. I just know that from my experience, focusing on statistics and numbers on a little watch (which isn’t even accurate all the time!) did not do anything positive for me. Instead, I stopped wearing my Fitbit to the gym and started focusing on how my body felt, not what the watch was telling me. When I was exhausted and sweaty, I knew I was done for the day—I wouldn’t force myself to do more like I would when wearing the Fitbit. The transition away from the Fitbit was tough at first, especially since I would always find myself losing track of time, but soon enough I learned how to feel comfortable and accomplished after a workout, regardless of how many calories I burned. Now that I’m not worrying about the numbers, I can finally feel those post-workout endorphins kicking in after a good workout.
