Anxiety is a tricky thing. It can come out of nowhere, or build up throughout the week until it is too heavy and crushes you. It can mean crying for an hour or just feeling numb and afraid. It can make you feel like you can’t accomplish anything or like you have to accomplish everything right now. Anxiety looks different for everyone; so, it can be difficult to know how to help someone who is struggling with anxiety. Speaking from personal experience, there is often no “right” thing to say to me when I am feeling anxious. However, there are wrong things to say and there are things you can do to help.
Below are some basic tips for helping a friend with anxiety.
- Ask “What Can I Do to Help You Right Now?”
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Some people need hugs, others need all the personal space. Some want to talk for hours and others need silence. For some people, having a friend by their side helps them calm down, for others, they need quiet time alone. The best way to help someone is always to ask them what help you can give.
- Respect Their Answer
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Personally, sometimes I just need a distraction, so I will ask a friend to tell me about their day. It completely depends on the situation and the day if I want to be hugged. Don’t assume either way. No one knows your friend better than they do, ask what they need.
- Silence is Okay
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It can feel awkward, but sometimes silence is a good thing. When my anxiety gets bad, sometimes I don’t have time to talk it out, or I just genuinely don’t feel like it. Just having someone be with me lets me know that I am not alone. You can do the same for one of your friends!
- Educate Yourself
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Once you know someone is struggling with anxiety, do some research. The more you can understand about what someone is going through, the more you can help them. There are countless sources online to help you get a clear idea of what exactly anxiety is, where it comes from, and even more ways to help.
- Check in!
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Sometimes anxiety isn’t a huge breakdown with tears and sobs. It can often be invisible. If you have a friend that struggles with anxiety regularly, ask them how they are doing with it, and how you can help. It doesn’t need to be every time you see them, but especially when it is a stressful time in the school year, it can help a lot.
- Take Care of Yourself Too
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If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have the ability to take care of others. Know your limits and set boundaries. You can only do so much.
- Have Fun!
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Sometimes you can help your friend just by doing something fun with them! Getting busy can help them to get out of their head and focus on other things. Get outside, watch a movie, play a game, whatever will bring you both joy.
Above all, listen, be patient, be there for each other, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Know your campus resources, so that you can point your friend in the right direction. Trust your gut. Be kind. You got this.