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All my life, people have known me to be the one with the positive attitude, the one who’s always happy, always motivated, and always busy. And day in and day out, I have lived up to this image. So, what’s my secret? Faking it. Cliché advice, I know, but it genuinely works. My personal, professional, and academic success is held together with paper mache confidence and a little bit of grit. I owe most opportunities in my life to this mentality of faking it ‘til I make it. It has given me academic success, athletic and social opportunities, and opened up doors to my future. I think we could all benefit from “faking it” once in a while.
Academic Success.
Do you remember, in elementary school, when the biggest piece of advice you’ll ever receive is “do your best?” Well, some of us took that pretty literally. As soon as I figured out what my “best” looked like, it became the expectation I held for myself. But sometimes our best looks different from day to day. Sometimes you are just going to have to show up to a class discussion having gotten through about a third (and that’s being generous) of the reading and wing it. Sometimes you are going to have to study for hours and finally throw in the towel because you need to watch the new episode of Dancing with the Stars for the sake of your mental sanity. And this does mean that sometimes you have to go into an exam, recognize that you are as prepared as you’re going to be, and push through. “Fake it ‘til you make it.”
The reason this works is because it keeps you moving forward. If I gave up every time I couldn’t meet a deadline, or lost points on a rubric, or got put in a really awful group for a group project, I wouldn’t have made it through high school, and I certainly wouldn’t have made it more than halfway through my bachelor’s degree. “Fake it ‘til you make it” pushes me through the uncomfortable times and helps me accomplish my academic goals.
Athletic Success.
I know myself, and I can acknowledge when I am not great at something. Volleyball happens to be one of these things. That being said, I played for six years, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I loved (and still do love) playing. The early years were laid back, but then high school came around, and with it: club volleyball. As we’ve established, I was not a talented player; I was a five-foot-two, single-sport athlete with decent athletic ability. But I made that team, and then I made libero, and then I made captain. I refused to let my smile falter or my energy waver as soon as I stepped onto that court. And believe me, there were times that were tough to smile through. Throughout the years, coaches have rarely praised my talent for the sport, but I have lost count of the times I have been complimented on my attitude and perseverance. As a college student who misses her sport dearly and is back on the IM courts, I can not stress this enough — if you believe you belong on that court, that court is where you’ll end up. One way or another. Fake it ‘til you make it.
As a full-time student, part-time server, hospital volunteer, member of several student organizations, and an intern for a mental health non-profit, who somehow still has time to develop a TikTok addiction, trust me when I say you can find everything you’re looking for. But there is a condition. In order to grow and to gain access to amazing opportunities, you will have to do things scared. You are going to feel uncomfortable sometimes because new can be good, but it’s still new. I’m not going to sit here behind this computer and tell you that the job market is awesome sauce, because we all know it is rough out there right now. But while you’re out there looking for opportunities, never underestimate the power of faking it ‘til you make it.
Social Success.
The most amazing life hack I discovered as a college student is “playing extrovert.” I don’t know how many of you out there are aware of this, but you don’t have to reinvent yourself to get the benefits of another persona. You can be an introvert who loves staying in and still go to an event where you’re the most chatty one there (nobody will know you’re scared). You can stay “true to yourself” and occasionally act differently.
“Fake it til you make it” ultimately taught me to act as if I belong. That’s some pretty powerful stuff right there. I walk into a room, knowing no one, and pretend that I belong, like I deserve to be there just as much as anybody else. Because of this, I act as if I belong. This means I act with more intention, more motivation to prove myself, and more confidence (fake or otherwise) in myself and my abilities. If you are constantly waiting around for someone to tell you that you can do this, and that you belong here, you are going to miss out on so many wonderful opportunities, and I do consider friendships to be opportunities as well. Connecting with others is so vital to our well-being, so why would we limit it? The “Fake it ‘til you make it” mentality has gifted me so many new connections. It has enabled me to go to events, concerts, and club meetings where I have met so many wonderful people, and I can’t help but wonder — what if I never went? Or, more accurately, what if I had let fear hold me back?
The “Real” Stuff.
“Fake it ‘til you make it” is stronger than people realize. It’s the type of mentality you don’t realize you need on the back burner until you really need it. “Fake it ‘til you make it” genuinely holds up in the face of grief. Which is an incredibly heavy experience.
Losing my cousin felt impossible — how is one supposed to carry on when someone just no longer exists in their life? I certainly didn’t know. So as we all tried to figure out how we were meant to cope with this, I turned to my tried and true, my star player, the saying that has yet to let me down. “Fake it ‘til you make it” was subbed back in. Now, grief is a strong thing, so this motto wasn’t going to just override feelings of grief. It’s not magic, but it did make it manageable. Each day I would get up and go to class and push through, pretending I was okay. I pretend that she is still there, just a text away, still a part of my life. Somewhere along the way, I realized she was. She is still in my life, because the love you have for someone doesn’t just disappear, and neither does their impact on you. So when I went on a trip to New York this summer, she was there. When I go shopping and see something she would like, I’m not speaking in the past tense, because if she were here, she would like it in the present. I am making new memories that she is a part of even when she’s not here with me. And maybe I’m still faking it, but in some ways I think I’ve made it. Made it to a place where I can go about my day where grief isn’t the strongest feeling, and I can experience something I know she’d love and feel joy over that, not sadness.
“Fake it ‘til you make it” is many things. Most of all, I’ve realized that the phrase really does describe a transition. The most important part of it isn’t the “fake.” The most important part is that we made it, and we will continue to make it: to achieve our goals, to overcome challenges, to meet new people and find new passions. This lifestyle isn’t about pretending, it’s about pushing past the limits we must have accidentally set at some point because those limits are what’s holding us back.