Steps to Confidence

I know from personal experience that loving yourself is NOT an easy job. It is easy to look in the mirror and see all your flaws, it’s not easy however to look in the mirror and say, “Damn girl, you’re killin’ it!” So, here are 10 small steps to keep in mind when you are on your journey to self-love.


  1. The first, and most important step of learning how to love yourself, is stop comparing yourself to others. There is always going to be someone who has everything you don’t have, this is easier said than done though, I have caught myself a few times comparing myself to others. Last week, I had a really cute outfit on, my makeup was beat, hair snatched, but when I walked out of the dorm, I saw a girl that was my ideal image of what I wish I could look like. That thought process isn’t healthy or realistic, and if you don’t believe me, believe Hannah Montana as she once said, “You can change your hair and you can change your clothes…., but you’ll always find your way back home.”

 You can change your hair, the way you dress, you can work out or you can gain weight, but at the end of the day, YOU are still YOU.

  1. Secondly, find what makes you happy. Find the things you are good at. Focusing on the positive aspects about your life will make your confidence rise. Throwing yourself into activities that will be beneficial for you will aid you in finding self-confidence. For example, when I study really hard for an exam, and it is reflected in the grade, that makes me feel accomplished. It makes me confident in my ability to achieve anything I set my mind to. 

  2. Next, try vibrant colors! There is a reason we wear black at funerals; colors tend to reflect our mood! So, whether you bring out that pink sweater, or that new bright red lipstick, step out of your comfort zone! Expanding your horizons will broaden your overall understanding of yourself. 

  3. Try communicating, making new friends. Keeping to yourself all day tends to bring down your mood or make you feel alone and closed off. I know talking to people all day, everyday does not sound like fun, but just complimenting someone while walking down the sidewalk can raise your confidence as well as elevate someone else’s confidence!

  4. Empower yourself! If you are looking in the mirror and hating the way you look, or hating your outfit, change it up! Slay that makeup and flaunt your features! You are beautiful, and there is nothing wrong with sprucing yourself up a bit to open your eyes to that beauty. Before you know it, you will be able to take that makeup off and be able to see the beauty in your natural appearance.

  5. Be able to bounce back from setbacks- life is not a cake walk, problems will arise, but you can’t let that set you back! You have to have the strength to keep your head held high, and say, “Tomorrow will be better”. 

  6. Surround yourself with positive influences! Although, you should never depend on anyone else for your happiness, having support on the bad days, is NEVER a bad thing!

  7. Keep an open mind. Keep an open mind for opportunities that may present themselves. Getting involved in different clubs and activities will help raise your confidence by getting social interaction with others as well as doing something you enjoy!

  8. This tip may not be your bank accounts favorite, but go shopping! Buying new clothes can help you boost your confidence by switching it up. There is nothing like that feeling when you try on a new piece of clothing and it fits perfectly, making all of your curves look like they are exactly where they are supposed to be. 

  9. Lastly, Be true to yourself. Remember who you are. Do not change who you are to fit in. When you start to become someone you are not, you lose confidence because simply, it’s just not you!