When You Hit Rock Bottom

 

 

When you hit rock bottom, a lot of things happen. First, you slowly start distancing yourself from everyone who cares about you in fear that you’ll be a burden. Then you stop caring about yourself and go several days without showering because that seems like an enormous amount of energy to spend on something. Last, you kind of ruin your life even more.

When you hit rock bottom, you really couldn’t care less about your work for that class or that random assignment you have to do for another. Well, actually you care a lot but you just can’t bring yourself to do anything really. You often lay in bed, wanting to do something but nothing that you try is right.

(Photo by Carlos Arthur M.R)

When you hit rock bottom, you spend a lot of time thinking. About other people, about what you did today yesterday, when you were 10. Living in your own head can be a nightmare of emotions and overthinking to wade through, but you manage. Kind of.

When you hit rock bottom, sometimes you decide whether getting up to go get food is actually worth the energy. You could just go to sleep and deal with the hunger tomorrow morning instead, and sometimes that’s what you do. Because why bother eating when you don’t like yourself and don’t want to be here anyways?

(Photo by Alla Hetman)

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that the only way from there is up.

When you get out of rock bottom, you suddenly see all the hands that were there trying to help you up. Throwing you ropes so maybe you could scale the wall or so they could pull you up. Showering you with signs and gestures of hope that you won’t be down there for long. They were like fireman pulling a lost puppy out of a storm drain.

(Photo by Tim Marshall)

When you get out of rock bottom, you get to see the world in a different light. It’s so much better than you ever remember it being. You want to run outside and let the sun soak into your skin. Hear the birds chirping and seeing the plants come alive again. Everything is beautiful and the small moments mean so much more now.

When you get out of rock bottom, you see who was really there for you all along. Those hands reaching to help you up become the faces of the people you know and love. And who love you too. They just want the best for you and they’re here to support you in any way they can. They’re there for you just in case you trip and fall again on your way out.

(Photo by Jörg)

The most important thing that happens when you get out of rock bottom is that you find yourself again. Your interests refuel you and you want to help yourself get stronger so that you don’t fall all the way back down there again. You realize that even though everyone is there in support, it is up to you to make yourself happy.

You get to be you again.