Friendships, like all relationships, have their ups and downs. They come, they go, they ebb and flow like the tide… and sometimes they just melt away. When I came to college, I was riding a high of meeting new people. After attending a small private school for my entire life, I had an embarrassing and disheartening question living in the recesses of my mind: do people actually like me, and can I make friends, or did I just know the same people my whole life?
College is a new, exciting, and refreshing experience for most of us. But it can be scary to hurl yourself into the void of finding new friendships. I made some amazing friends when I first arrived at BU, and they made my first months here the college dream: late-night chitchats, weekend parties, and pajama movie nights were my life. Unfortunately, life sometimes throws you lemons, and you have to find a way to make lemonade.
My friends and I fell out of communication when my mental health took a turn for the worse. I found myself feeling like I couldn’t be honest when I had a panic attack, when I was too mentally drained to go out, and when I would rather hang out with my boyfriend instead of flirt with boys at parties. It was a classic example of teenagers maturing at different rates — I had found the love of my life, and they were only just beginning that journey of college romance. And that is a-okay.
Losing friends can be scary, intimidating, sad, and worrisome. You may feel lost, anxious, and like you don’t belong. You may blame yourself for not embodying the qualities they wanted in a friend. The important thing to remember is this: if a friendship doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that there’s inherently anything wrong with YOU. It just means that you haven’t found the right friends for who you are yet.
In 2020, when all classes are online and socializing is more daunting than ever, I urge you to look for what makes you unique as a person. Do some soul-searching and make a list: what makes you lovable? What do you value about yourself? Friendships may come and go even more so now that we can’t see our loved ones, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship with yourself has to grow weaker.
It’s essential to the end of any relationship, platonic or romantic, to remind yourself about what makes you, you. You are amazing, and you deserve the right to friends that will lift you up and make you comfortable. Everyone has a place in this world, it’s just up to you to be patient until you find it.
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