It might sound like a 2016-era Pinterest quote that we all saved in middle school, but “catch flights, not feelings” might just be my new motto. Seriously, what if there is so much validity to curing a broken heart with a trip? IMHO, traveling alone after a breakup could allow you to deepen your connection with your own mind and spirit. Breakups are tough, but they are an opportunity to learn more about yourself — and who wouldn’t want to do that while exploring the world?
Gab Nowak-Jelonek, 26, of @gab_explores and founder of @femalesflyingsolo shared the ins and outs of solo travel while single. Her company Female Flying Solo is aimed at empowering women to travel the world through group trips where they have opportunities to connect with other women and deepen their connection with themselves. But on Nowak-Jelonek’s Instagram where she has over 58k followers, she shares everything from trip highlights to doctor visits in other countries.
After three years of being single (with a few situationships, but TBH, who hasn’t had those), Nowak-Jelonek is truly connected with herself. So, if you are newly single, heartbroken about a failed situationship, or are just done scrolling on the dating apps after a breakup — maybe it is time to book a flight.
What can solo travel teach me?
According to Nowak-Jelonek, solo travel teaches women “independence, confidence, how to be resilient and most importantly how to love themselves.”
A breakup is actually what got Nowak-Jelonek into solo travel, after splitting from her partner of four years she decided to do something for herself. Six months after the breakup, she moved to Thailand because it turned out she was just fine without it. “I guess the breakup is what gave me the confidence and boost that I needed to do something that I always wanted to do, and probably would never have done if I stayed in that relationship,” Nowak-Jelonek says.
What about feeling big things while traveling?
Breakups come with big feelings, and it’s important to remember that these feelings can pop back up while traveling, too. When these feelings start to bubble up while traveling, Nowak-Jelonek recommends that self-care become a priority. “I take some time to do something nice for me, especially self-care — such as taking myself for a walk in nature, going to a coffee shop and treating myself to a massage or a spa day — things that really bring me joy and that I do for myself,” she says.
Traveling might also bring some homesick feelings as well, for your actual home and the relationship you left behind. But Nowak-Jelonek has been through it too, and has some advice for mourning your past relationships. “You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel love,” she says. “Love comes from many different areas of your life like from family and friends and it’s important to always seek out those relationships whether it’s messaging or Facetime to get that connection.”
If you are traveling and start to have big feelings listening to a dating podcast, journal a prompt about relationships or practice some affirmations. Taking this space to validate your feelings can help better understand them.
What if I want to get over someone by getting under someone else?
Obviously hooking up while traveling abroad is all about safety. If you are taking a solo trip and plan on hooking up, make sure you pack all the hookup necessities you might need. Nowak-Jelonek revealed that dating, hookups, and situationships are something she exclusively lets relationships develop naturally while she is traveling. “If you are looking to date or hook up then that is totally fine,” says Nowak-Jelonek. “But always make sure to inform someone where you are going and who will and just be aware of different scams in different countries too.”
So, should you catch flights, not feelings?
To Nowak-Jelonek travel is just one example of the work that comes after a breakup as you heal. “Putting yourself out of your comfort zone whatever that may be is truly healing after a heartbreak especially if it’s doing something like traveling if you have been wanting to do it yourself for a long time but have put it off,” she says. However, if you were waiting to travel because of how your relationship made you feel, or because your partner didn’t want to, or for any reason — going by yourself could feel incredibly freeing.
But, running to the airport just cause is not all the emotional work that needs to be done. These feelings that “catch flights not feelings” suggest avoiding are all still valid and deserve recognition. Give yourself the space to feel, whether at home or an airport.
If you were looking for a sign to embrace single life through travel let this be it! Go see the world, deepen your connection with yourself, embrace the feelings, and book the flight.