Lately, a new name for a long-standing tradition of women backing other women has surged. With the release of Barbie and Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, this year’s media has become a beacon of strong feminine energy. The term “girl’s girl” is the new way of categorizing folks (yes, that includes more than women) who are supportive, kind, and encouraging to women.
We are living in a highly competitive society: People are always looking to get a leg-up in all different arenas of life — the dating scene, the workplace, and even education — instead of supporting each other. But even in this biosphere, every Monica needs their Rachel.
Friendship and community have been proven to support mental health and wellness for decades — having people to confide in and unwind with helps minimize loneliness, anxiety, stress, and depression. There aren’t many requirements to be a girl’s girl, but the overall positive effect a community of girl’s girls can have on mental and emotional well-being can be incredibly powerful.
To unpack the many advantages of the girl’s girl mentality, I spoke with clinical psychologist and author, Dr. Kelsey M. Latimer, to better understand how being a girl’s girl can actually benefit your mental health, in the long run.
Why is a “girl’s girl” mentality important?
The girl’s girl mentality hinges on the idea that all women can thrive without putting others down. Further, surrounding yourself with empowering women can not only create a safe environment but boost your confidence in the outside world.
“We women —and everyone, really — need to be supporting each other and not coming from a scarcity mentality. I always operate by ‘pay it forward,’ and that has helped me to act in association with my values while helping the women in my network to also succeed,” Latimer explains. “It can have a profound impact on individuals by creating a safe space where people can share their experiences, triumphs, and challenges. It is a win-win for everyone!”
However, while strong communities can greatly impact the individual, women who aren’t
“girl’s girls” (or those who don’t try to empower their peers) might find themselves lacking something important. “This behavior generally comes from a scarcity fear-based mindset,” Latimer explains. “There is often worry that if I help someone out, I may no longer be relevant instead of recognizing we can all win in whatever it is. There is enough to go around.”
Women without a strong female support system, therefore, lack the encouragement and understanding that comes from connecting with other empowering women. Think of The Plastics: Without camaraderie and friendship, life is significantly more lonely and competitive.
Where can I find uplifting communities?
The key to finding this kind of support is to find other like-minded women who can fulfill your needs and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Though the search can be intimidating, having a community
There are so many places to find community nowadays: whether you enjoy reading, gardening, astrology, or art, there are groups and communities in-person — and virtually — that you can join to find other like-minded folks. Also, don’t underestimate the reach that the internet has today: you can meet empowering women all around the globe through social media, or even apps/websites like Bumble BFF or Bloom.
You can also join collegiate communities, like yours truly! Her Campus helps to create a national community for every powerful Gen Zer in the country (and beyond).
Regardless of where you are, geographically, you’re bound to find community at some point. “Spend time in places that are associated with your brand and your values and your people will find you over time,” Latimer assures.
Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of what we all need most in this world. Today, the phrase “girl’s girl” is a badge of honor that women wear to highlight a feature that seems rare. But the world is full of girl’s girls and women who can put their jealousies aside, and recognize other women as beautiful and deserving, too. Is this not something we all want in a friend, or — better yet — want in ourselves?
Perhaps we can learn from what Barbie taught us this year: it’s literally impossible to be a woman. But with support, unity, and kindness (though these things are rare), life can be a little easier. In the words of The Originals’ great Rebekah Michaelson: “Us girls have got to stick together.”