I rarely get rocked by celebrity breakup news. But, there was something about the Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner divorce that really stuck with me — and that’s not just because I’ve been obsessed with their Las Vegas elopement since I was 19. It’s because I haven’t stopped thinking about the portrait many media outlets are painting of Sophie Turner. And, in my opinion, they’ve got it all wrong.
Along with the news of the couple’s separation, there have been reports of Turner’s and Jonas’ different lifestyles. Now, it’s not the kind of “different” where your partner still drinks whole milk (unforgivable) while you drink oat — but rather, framing Turner as a neglectful mother and party girl, while Jonas is some kind of single, rockstar dad who’s doing it all on his own.
Photos of Turner having fun with her costars and friends have been plastered across publications after a source told TMZ, “She likes to party; he likes to stay at home. They have very different lifestyles.” Her Campus reached out to Turner’s team for comment but didn’t hear back by the time of publication. Some outlets are going as far as to share photos of Turner at a wrap party for a project she’s been working on, drinking cocktails and laughing with friends.
The thing is, Sophie Turner isn’t the bad guy here. She’s simply a 27-year-old woman. And she’s allowed to have fun.
She’s out of control! I don’t care if, like, everyone in their 20s and 30s go out and have fun — she’s a monster! Poor, poor Joe, who’s probably holding both of their children at once and singing them to sleep — totally not on a world tour and DJing in New York, London, and Miami during his off hours! What a monster she is!
The thing is, Sophie Turner isn’t the bad guy here. She’s simply a 27-year-old woman. And she’s allowed to have fun. (Revolutionary thought, I know!)
Call me whatever you want, but at the ripe age of 23 (almost two years post-grad), I still like to party. After I wrap up my full-time job on Fridays, you can most likely find me on a dance floor (or singing karaoke at a dive bar) with my best friends, wearing a mini skirt and entirely too much eyeliner — tequila soda in hand. I like to have fun. Sue me.
But I also have responsibilities. I have a full-time job, loans to pay off, a relationship to focus on, and a whole bunch of other things that go hand-in-hand with being an adult. And just because I choose to have fun the way I want to have fun doesn’t make me an irresponsible, partying, tequila-scented villain. It makes me a twentysomething-year-old human. And people seem to forget that Turner is one, too.
It’s a chauvinistic tactic to keep women in a subservient, submissive role in relationships — and if we don’t start looking at it as such, it’ll only become more oppressive, more controlling, and even nastier than it was to begin with.
I know that grabbing drinks isn’t everyone’s idea of fun. My partner, for instance, would much rather opt for a night in with takeout and a movie rather than going out to the bars until sunrise. And despite our almost eight years of being together, I’ve never felt as if my idea of fun was inferior to his or anyone else’s. Call it a “difference in lifestyles,” but me having fun as a normal, everyday twentysomething isn’t grounds for an “irretrievably broken” relationship. Nor is there any reason for anyone to think any less of my work, my relationships, or me.
This narrative isn’t new, and it’s not just Turner who has fallen victim to it. Time and time again, media outlets use the classic excuse of a “difference in lifestyles” to paint women in a negative light during a breakup. For instance, we saw the same thing when Joe Alwyn and Taylor Swift broke up, with sources saying Alwyn wasn’t aware of, or ready to handle, Swift’s celebrity lifestyle. Additionally, when news broke of Dalton Gomez and Ariana Grande’s divorce, the same narrative was pushed onto Grande — as if it were her fault she’s, like, one of the biggest pop stars of our generation. It wasn’t any of their faults. It’s the insecurity speaking.
The narrative surrounding Sophie Turner in regard to her divorce isn’t just incorrect, it’s harmful. It sends the message that women should settle down, stay inside, and dote on their partners as soon as they’re in a relationship — and that notion is only amplified when children are involved. It’s a chauvinistic tactic to keep women in a subservient, submissive role in relationships — and if we don’t start looking at it as such, it’ll only become more oppressive, more controlling, and even nastier than it was to begin with.
The truth of the matter is, Sophie Turner’s life isn’t anyone else’s: not Joe Jonas’, not yours, and not mine. If she chooses to celebrate wrapping up a project by having some drinks with her coworkers, so be it. For what it’s worth, Turner’s “party girl lifestyle” is that of a normal, twentysomething-year-old — just like you or me. And I’ll drink to that.