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For as long as I can remember, my friends and family have described me as someone who’s really positive. I try hard to see the best in every situation, live a life of gratitude, and radiate positive energy. And let me tell you, it’s EXHAUSTING.

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Sometimes (actually quite often), I just want to call my mom and complain. Complain about things that probably aren’t even big deals but I’ve been thinking about them long enough for them to become big deals. I read into things I’ve said and done (which I know I can no longer change), I go over hypothetical situations in my head and get myself frustrated, and, as an activist, I get rather pessimistic witnessing the lack of social change around me. And of course, I think back to embarrassing moments in my childhood and try very hard not to cringe. Sometimes I just want to sit on my bed and drown in my own sorrow.

And then it happens. On the rare occasion that I do give in to my negativity, someone hits me with a “Don’t be so negative! It’s contagious!” 

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Since when have our emotions become more about the people around us than about us, the people feeling those emotions? Why are we so concerned with how other people see us to a point where we suppress how we feel? All that tension builds up in our chests and we just pop, making the people around us view us in a worse light than if we were open and honest about our feelings in the first place. Who cares if I’m a “Negative Nancy” every once in a while?

It’s important to remember that it’s okay to not be okay. Negativity isn’t a weakness. It isn’t an undesirable trait. It’s human. It’s okay to have those gloomy days where you want nothing to do with the world.

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Why? Because negativity makes us stronger. It makes us more grateful for the positive moments in our lives. It makes us more empathetic towards others when they are having their off days. It makes us take a more realistic approach to our goals where we would otherwise just cross our fingers, hope for the best, and end up disliking the outcome. It makes us recognize a problem at the beginning so that there is potential for a solution. It helps us find a common ground with the people that we would least expect ourselves to connect with... after all, misery loves company!

But most importantly, it makes us realize that in order to radiate positive energy, we must work through and understand our negativity first. It isn’t healthy to be positive all the time. You need to feel the way that you feel. Once you feel it, you can move past it. Take as much time as you need and put on that Sam Smith playlist so that when you’re ready for it, your positivity is not a performance but a reality.  


Riya is an Indian-Canadian writer from Richmond Hill, Ontario. She is in her second year at York University, majoring in Interdisciplinary Social Science. She is also in the Concurrent Education program as she aspires to become a social science and law teacher. Riya has been writing her entire life: she joined Her Campus to connect with others who have the same passion and share her ideas on topics including politics, lifestyle, and well-being. Her favourite thing about writing is that it can be approached and interpreted differently by each individual based on their own personal experiences. When she is not writing, she can be found watching movies, painting, volunteering in her community, or listening to music - she has song lyrics running through her head 24/7! Riya lives by the quote; “To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”
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