Not taking things personally is a goal that I’ve had for myself for some time now. As someone who’s struggled with depression in the past and to this day works to maintain my mental health, I’ve noticed that how I react to the opinions of others makes a huge difference in how I feel.
However, not consuming the negative opinions of others is easier said than done. We are constantly surrounded by people in our everyday lives and we can inevitably consume their emotional garbage. We might be surrounded by negative people at work, at school, on the bus on our morning commute, or even in our own households.
We might have the intention to not be affected by negative people, their opinions, or to not be consumed by the negativity we project onto ourselves. But we are human and this isn’t possible every single day.
Even though it is a journey and becoming mentally strong will be difficult, here are five reminders we can implement into our lives to help us to stay positive:
- Remember that anything anyone says or does is a reflection of themselves, not you
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I’m currently reading, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and he talks about not taking anything personally. He states, “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind…”
As I’ve mentioned, this isn’t a skill that I have attained yet because sometimes what people say does get the best of me. But reminding myself that I can’t consume other people’s problems, beliefs, or projections is what will keep me mentally grounded.
- Speak positively to yourself
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People can tell us they love us every day and if we don’t believe it for ourselves, it will lack truth. I have to remind myself that I am the only thinker in my mind and I have control over my thoughts and what I allow myself to believe about myself and my circumstances.
I have the power to tell myself that I will be okay, that I am amazing, powerful, worthy and that I deserve good things in life. Speaking positively to ourselves is a habit I believe is the key to freedom from negative thinking and it is a habit we can slowly maintain. It just starts by giving ourselves more credit for being human and for trying every day to do the best we can.
- Have positive routines
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Whether it be reading, journaling, tapping into your religion or spirituality, or meditation, you need to have routines in place that allow you to center yourself. For myself, I find prayer and religion helps, as well as journaling. Constantly consuming positivity can rewire your brain to think more positively. It’s all about habits.
- Know that you are bigger than this moment
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You know the saying, “If it doesn’t matter five years down the road, then why worry?” I have to remind myself of this often. Bad days do not equal a bad life and stressful moments are just that, moments. It will eventually subside and you will wake up tomorrow with a new mindset and a chance to experience better moments.
- It will always make you stronger
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Whatever you have experienced in your life thus far has made you a wiser and stronger person. We wouldn’t know how to respond to negativity or how to deal with negative people if we never got the chance to have less than favored encounters. Everything you have experienced is a learning curve and even though it might have hurt you today, it is preparing you for tomorrow.
Life is meant to be lived to the fullest and to be enjoyed. We can’t always control the negativity that is around us and we can’t control what people say and how they say it. But we can control what goes on in our world and what we choose to consume. It won’t happen overnight and this is definitely something that takes practice, but focusing on the positive, not taking things personally, and surrounding ourselves with positive people will benefit us greatly. You deserve to be happy and to be mentally strong. Don’t let negativity consume you.