5 Ways to Find Yourself During an Era of Being Alone

Bars are closed. No partying. Limit the amount of people you see. School and work is online. These phrases are repeated and stuck in the heads of millions of young people. It’s all over social media, the news, and from the mouths of elders. People often find themselves mindlessly scrolling through social media. We reflect on days where loud parties, bright lights, late night Uber rides and large gatherings were not questioned. Then, coming back to the present and feeling lonely, hopeless and nostalgic. What does this sequence say about society? We are taught by social media to find inner value in others: in parties, events to post on Instagram and connecting with large groups of people. At a time when this is unsafe, we should look inwards to seek fulfillment. Here are some ways to find yourself by looking inwards: 
  1. 1. Change what you see on social media

    Part of being in your 20s is reflecting on your past, present and future choices. Maybe you do not have it all figured out. But, in order to continue this reflection in an era of being alone, changing what you see on social media is important. You will only negatively reflect on your life if your feed is filled with people breaking government guidelines, people’s vacation memories and constant small parties. Since social time is limited, a lot of  time is spent on social media. Seeing uplifting content on social media, rather than content that gives you FOMO, is important in finding joy and finding yourself. You can’t learn about yourself if your feed is filled with other people’s lives. Accounts on TikTok such as @soul_speak_, @thesagesoul, @oliviadidat and @spiritofellis give reflection prompts, discuss meditation, health and give uplifting life advice to young people. “Lightworkers Lounge” is an amazing podcast available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. The host details her discovery of identity, issues of friendship, relationships and spirituality. 

    Apple store in the city
  2. 2. Learn About Your Body

    Fuelling your body with nutritious food and intuitively eating helps improve your mood and health. This does not mean going on fad diets. This means eating when you are hungry, filling your body with nutritious food while still balancing the occasional Wendy’s run. When intuitively eating nutritious and balanced food, energy levels rise. Fuelling and energizing your body is a way to find yourself alone. You learn what your body needs, how to make yourself feel good mentally and it is an act of self care. Some Instagram accounts to follow that promote body positivity, intuitive eating and nutritious recipes: @plantifullybased, @collegenutritionist and @gatherednutrition. 

    Fall Produce 3
  3. 3. Find Value in a Small Circle

    During this time, social circles are small in order to ensure health and safety. Seeing only a few friends is key. Social media promotes constant parties, huge groups of friends, and large getaways as the key to happiness. Yes, connecting with others is human nature. During this time, when that is limited, finding value in a small circle is a way to learn about yourself, as well as create intimate memories. Maybe that small road trip, quick trips to the coffee shop, or movie nights with 1-3 close friends helps you learn something about life, love, friendship or yourself. Or, it helps you appreciate the smaller things that social media does not always praise.

    three women lay next to each other on a bed with their feet up in the air.
  4. 4. Writing and Shadow Work

    Journaling gives a shoulder to lean on when someone is not always available. Journaling can go as far as setting intentions for the day. Or, it can be a to-do list. Or, it can be shadow work, which incorporates journaling about wishes, fears, your past and what worries you most. Journaling can do unbelievable wonders for finding yourself in your 20s when outside experiences are limited. TikTok creator @journalbymoon gives daily positive journal prompts. @thesagesoul on TikTok gives shadow work prompts to dive deep into your psyche. 

    pink flatlay workspace
  5. 5. Get into That Goal You Never Found Time to Pursue

    Whether it be starting a business, learning yoga, meditation, writing that book, quitting smoking, or stopping procrastination. Without too much pressure on yourself, pursuing a goal, no matter how small, is a way to find yourself during an era of being alone. 

    Silhouette of woman doing yoga at sunset
Your 20s and the expectation of finding yourself is intimidating. Especially during a time when spending a lot of time alone is so common and expected. Staying grateful and doing inner work is a way to explore yourself during an era by which having glamorous social media pages, large gatherings and big groups of friends seems to be ideal. Journaling, appreciating a small circle, learning about yourself and your body can be better than gathering at a bar. Working on yourself in solitude is also fulfilling and enlightening.