Hello beautiful ladies!
This month is Suicide Prevention month. Suicide claims the lives of many, and it leaves loved ones feeling lost. We don’t talk enough about what leads up to it. We don’t talk enough about the signs. In some cultures, the topic is taboo; dismissing feelings as “moody” or “unwanted/unneeded”. In some ways, loved ones are selfish in their thinking while missing the entire point; your loved one needs help. The one thing that has kept me from seeing my full potential before all of it is depression.
Depression can sometimes leech on to me like a bug and I can’t fight it. Since high school, I’ve experienced some of high highs and lowest lows. Instead of actively trying to get myself out of it, I would become more and more closed off from the world until I wouldn’t recognize myself. I would eat until I was sick, sleep until someone would wake me up, and keep everything around me dark. There was a day when I was on my last leg, and I didn’t see any reason of living. In my house, there was cabinet reserved mainly for non-prescription/prescription medication. Most of the medicine was expired and never thrown out. As corny as it might sound, every time I went to the medicine cabinet, I would hear the words, ‘be optimistic‘.
See, I knew what the word optimism was, but I never actively used the word. I even wrote the word “Optimism” and stuck it to my wall. Everything started to look up. Of course, life isn’t perfect, and I fell in and out of depression.
I started to give myself a mantra to live by. Mantrasare little phrases/quotes that you either repeat or constantly see; they’re etched into your brain and become a part of you. I lose sight of it sometimes, but I make sure I revisit it when I’m low.
The last thing is probably the most crucial: the Sun. Like I said before, I use to keep everything around me dark; mostly my room. The Sun could be showing out outside and I wouldn’t know because I kept it pitch black. Once I changed my outlook on life and realized that I woke up every day to a new possibility, I invited the Sun in. I even began taking daily walks just to be in the Sun. All in all, these things aided in helping me survive depression.
So ladies remember: It’s not a bad day, not a bald life.
Love y’all!
With love + optimism,
Marissa Pollard
HCXOXO!