In recent years, “take a bath” self-care has become increasingly popular. Entire blogs are being dedicated to DIY spa nights, and it seems that every other Instagram story features the classic perfectly-pedicured-feet-resting-on-the-side-of-a-bubble-bath pic. But…is self-care really as easy as splashing around in a tub of bubbles with a glass of wine?
No. It absolutely is not. The main issue with the “cutesy” self-care trend is that it greatly trivializes the mental health issues that are often the primary reason for needing self-care in the first place. Unfortunately, a bath bomb is not going to balance out misfiring neurotransmitters in someone with depression. A DIY manicure will not quiet the unrelenting chatter in the brain of someone with anxiety. Sure, treating yourself is a wonderful way to improve your mood and mindfulness, but it is not a cure for any mental illness.
Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way saying that baths and face masks aren’t wonderful for the nights when you need a little mid-semester pick-me-up. After all, nothing says relaxation like a Lush bath bomb. What I am saying, however, is that we need to more aware of basic self-care, just as we need to be aware of the importance of professional treatment when it comes to mental health.
So what does true self-care look like in the life of someone with mental illness? In my personal experience with mental illness, self-care needs to revolve around basic human functioning, not lighting a candle or reading a book. During my bad depressive episodes, things like getting out of bed, getting dressed, and just putting food in my body are Herculean tasks. In times like those, self care needs to be straightforward and often very unglamorous. And when we popularize “take a bath” self-care, it can often leave anxiety or depression sufferers with burdensome feelings of inadequacy. Because in the grand scheme of things (and in my own personal hell of depression), painting my toenails or applying a hair treatment was the last thing on my to-do list—especially when this to-do list often started with “put on clean clothes” and “brush my hair.”
In addition to skipping over very basic steps in caring for yourself, “take a bath” self care also reinforces the myth that mental illnesses are not real and that thinking happy thoughts or just calming down will solve all your problems. Most instances of mental illness will not get better without professional help. Most people need some form of medication and/or therapy to function “normally.”
You cannot soak off depression, you cannot scrub away scars, and you cannot excuse yourself from seeking medical help by ritualizing spa nights.
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