The end of week 4 marks my first month on Lexapro. Somehow, it feels like it has been 3 months, but I guess that’s just what happens when you haven’t slept a full night in over 2 months and are waiting for medication to kick in. I think the most relieving thing about reaching the end of the first month was the lack of lingering adverse symptoms, with the exception of a couple. The entire first 2 weeks were dominated by a rotation of fatigue, sleepiness, loss of appetite, nausea, dry mouth, and digestive issues in addition to the insomnia and anxiety I already had.
Week 4 felt similar to week 3 in regards to the symptoms I was experiencing. The lingering symptoms were mainly increased anxiety, some insomnia, and blocked orgasm, the last of which I’ve gone on about enough now so I won’t elaborate too much here. With SSRI’s, increased anxiety and insomnia are extremely normal, so I wasn’t particularly concerned about them. I was focused on just riding out the anxiety until it started to level out after a period of time. The insomnia was starting to get better than it was before I started taking medication though. I was able to sleep for a little bit longer at a time and could get back to sleep after waking up at night more often than I could before.
When my insomnia was particularly bad pre-medication, I was sleeping 5 hours a night at most, though usually I’d fall asleep around 11pm-12am and wake up between 2am and 3:30am without being able to get back to sleep. After a few weeks on Lexapro, I was still falling asleep around the same time but I would wake up closer to 3:30am and be able to fall back asleep. It’s not where I’d like to be, but I feel better knowing that it’s going to keep improving over time as I adjust to the medication.
The main difference between weeks 3 and 4 has been my mental state. I definitely still experienced a state of increased anxiety but overall I felt better. It was like a switch flipped and I wasn’t just clinging to the hopes of a better experience on the way; instead I was genuinely beginning to feel better. This helped me to be a little bit more functional in my daily life and I felt a little bit more motivated to do things again. It wasn’t a complete switch and I don’t feel particularly motivated by the medication, but it’s nice to have even a little slice of willpower to do the dishes or clean my room or take a walk around the neighborhood.
As the weeks go by, I’m looking forward to more relief from anxiety and hopefully more sleep each night with fewer sleep supplements involved. From where I sit, the future of my anxiety is looking much better than it has in months.