For the past three years, Covid has changed our relationships and dynamics with the people we love—even with ourselves. Now that our lives are all going back in-person, it means moving back to school and away from our families and friends that we have spent so much time with. This can make it especially difficult to adjust in our relationships when we don’t have the same availability as we used to. Setting boundaries for both yourself and the people you love is crucial to putting your mental health first.
In order to create these healthy boundaries, there are questions that we all have to ask ourselves:
- What do I need to prioritize for my happiness?
- How much time do I need to dedicate to myself?
- How can I politely state what I need?
- Am I able to spend time alone happily?
These questions will help you assess what to say to others and what to prioritize for yourself. If you find yourself answering these questions in ways that surprise you, it might be a good time to check in on yourself!
The next step to setting boundaries is choosing to put yourself first and honoring your answers to the questions above. If you decide that getting that morning coffee is what helps you stay happy and motivated throughout your day, those extra five bucks are being put to good use. Doing what makes you happy sometimes means that you have to put off going out and partying with your friends and instead cozy up and read a book in your dorm. Even though we’re going back to school and there are more social pressures, making sure we remain happy is number one.
On the more serious end, if you find that you haven’t been happy being alone lately or aren’t dedicating time to yourself, these exercises could help change that. Knowing your worth and prioritizing yourself is very important for many reasons, and maybe this means it’s time to try some other forms of supporting your mental health. We have all heard of inner child work and becoming mentally fit, but in order to successfully try these techniques we first have to set healthy boundaries. Once you’re more aware of your goals, you can decide whether or not it’s time to try something new.
Overall, setting standards for your mental health goals will allow you to create the space you need to be successful. Making time for your friends and family is important, but sometimes rain checks are what needs to be done. There is definitely a balancing act happening behind the scenes for all of us; some people need time with friends and family to recharge while others need more alone time. It’s important to know that both needs are totally normal and healthy, so take the time to find the right fit for you. Remember to take care of yourself and have fun this year too, Bruins!