I have been diving deeper into the realm of emotional intelligence lately and what it really means. What does it mean to be emotionally intelligent? To be empathetic, to understand others, to understand yourself? All of the above? Emotional intelligence, as defined by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, is “the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.” Simply put, to be emotionally intelligent is to be in tune with the emotions of yourself and others. But, how do you get to such a place? How do you get to a place when you can deem yourself emotionally intelligent?
I have gathered the top 5 qualities in a person that may truly makes them emotionally intelligent:
- They are aware.
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This includes both self and social awareness. Emotionally intelligent people are able to discern both their emotions along with understanding those of others in a social setting. It does not mean being able to read someone’s mind, but rather, respond accordingly to people’s actions in a range of situations. Awareness is truly a superpower.
- They are reflective.
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They are able to understand the “why” to both their own behaviors and the behaviors of those around them. This prevents them from jumping to conclusions and allows them to truly understand others instead of assuming. This gives both them and those around them breathing space and nurtures their relationships due to this space of understanding.
- They listen.
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Emotionally intelligent people are willing to be wrong. They are willing to hear what someone has to say with the goal of rewiring how they initially thought. They are open to hear what others have to say instead of forcing an open ear. As a result, they learn more about those around them and themselves and are able to foster truly healthy relationships.
- They are accepting.
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They would never categorize themselves as in denial. Why? They are so aware of themselves and those around them that they are able to accept circumstances and situations that may not be in their favor or in their control. This allows them to move forward without any mental strain. This allows them to keep putting one foot in front of the other instead of holding onto the mere thought of “what if”. Instead, they accept and move on to the next.
- They are always learning.
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Emotionally intelligent people know they are never finished learning both about themselves and those around them. This way, they remain curious and welcome new information like oxygen. As a result, they are free to put away old thoughts and welcome new ones, reducing chaos and freeing themselves to peace.
Would you describe yourself as emotionally intelligent? What qualities do you have and which are you working on? Make a list and a corresponding game plan – you can do it!