No Need to Call the Fire Department, It’s Just Burnout

I’ve found that burnout is one of the hardest feelings to describe. It’s one of those “know it when you feel it” kind of things. For me, it’s like I’m too exhausted to function, but not physically tired. I’m more mentally drained. I could get a workout or a run in and be fine, but ask me to open Canvas, and I turn to slush. Remind me that I have assignments and responsibilities, and it’s like my brain shuts off. 

I first experienced this phenomenon in what I call my “SSS” phase, aka Second Semester Senior. I was always academically inclined. One of those kids who didn’t have to work too hard and who always came home with the smiley stickers on her spelling tests (I don’t mind bragging about these achievements because if you put a soccer ball in front of me, I’d break a leg).

For some of these students, high school was a wake-up call. The material is different, and you have to learn to adjust. I took to these new habits quickly and got through just fine. That was until the last few months of my senior year. I hit a wall. I accepted my college offer, and I sent them my transcript; for all intents and purposes, I was done. I skipped school at least once a week. When I did go, I’d watch YouTube on my iPad and draw doodles on my arms. It’s not like I wanted to be useless; I just had nothing left to give. 

Promising myself that college would be different, I started my first semester. I bought a planner and a whiteboard calendar, and I even stuck to it for a while. But freshman year turned into sophomore year, and my drive slowed down. Not just the drive, but my passion and my ambition changed too. I still have goals, and I still have dreams, but I’ve lost the want-nay, the need for them. 

Imagine a poster hanging above your bed. When you first buy it, you’re obsessed. You look at it every day and admire it. But as time passes, it fades into the background. It’s not the first thing you see when you wake up anymore. That twisted metaphor is how I feel about my future. Sure, I still want to be successful, but it’s not my main priority anymore.

This feeling used to scare me. I used to think it meant I was lazy; that I couldn’t work hard anymore. But that’s not it. In fact, it’s the opposite. This fatigue is my body’s way of saying I want to keep working, but I need to slow down for a while. It’s like pressing the gas pedal too hard when the light turns green; your tires start to screech. Slow down, ease into it. 

Mental Health America suggests reevaluating, adjusting, and setting boundaries when burnout starts to kick in. My favorite quote of theirs: “Accept that you’re burned out-it’s not a sign of weakness to take care of yourself.” I’ve also found that remembering my age calms me down a bit. I’m only 19. In the grand scheme of things, I’ve barely even lived. One mental health day isn’t going to set my whole life off track, and it certainly won’t hurt yours either.

• #self care
• #work
• #work/life balance
• #young
• anxiety
• Burn out
• college
• emotional
• health
• mental health
• tired