Heartbreak is something no one should ever have to experience — yet somehow, it feels like a universal rite of passage. When it happened to me, it felt like my entire world was cracked open. The person I loved the most became the one who hurt me the deepest. The one I would’ve done anything for walked away without looking back.
For months, I was drowning in emotions I couldn’t control: confusion, sadness, anger, betrayal. I kept asking myself over and over — how can someone who once promised “forever” turn into a stranger overnight? How do you go from being someone’s whole world to being nothing at all? I wanted to hate him so badly. I wanted to stop loving him, but I couldn’t. That was the worst part: loving someone who broke me.
Despite the long, painful process, I’ve slowly started to find myself again. Healing hasn’t been linear, and some days still hurt more than others. These are the five things that have helped me start to heal one piece at a time.
- Let yourself feel everything, even the ugly parts
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For a while, I tried to pretend I was fine. I told everyone I was “over it,” that I was “doing better.” But inside, I was breaking. Eventually, I realized the only way to move on was to let myself feel everything: the crying-until-my-eyes-are-swollen kind of feeling. There were nights when I replayed every memory and asked what I could’ve done differently. Healing doesn’t come from avoiding pain. It comes from sitting with it until it starts to loosen its grip.
- Surround yourself with people who remind you who you are
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When you lose someone, you feel like you’re losing pieces of yourself, too. My friends became my anchors, reminding me of who I was before him: the girl who laughed too loud, loved too much, and dreamed too big. Surround yourself with people who love you without needing to be asked. They’ll hold you together when you can’t do it yourself. Even sitting in silence with someone who understands can feel like the deepest comfort.
- Do small things that make you feel alive again
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At first, even getting out of bed felt impossible. Little by little, though, I started doing things that made me feel human again. I listened to music that made me feel something, went on late-night drives with no destination, watched the sunset, and learnt to enjoy my own company. Healing isn’t one big moment. It’s a thousand tiny ones that remind you life still exists beyond the pain.
- Stop waiting for the text that will never come
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I used to stare at my phone for hours, hoping he’d reach out. He never did, and that silence was its own kind of heartbreak. It took me a long time to understand that closure doesn’t come from them. It comes from you deciding to stop waiting. You deserve peace, not uncertainty. You deserve someone who chooses you every day, not someone who leaves you questioning your worth.
- Believe that love can still be beautiful
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Right now, the idea of loving again feels impossible. However, I have to believe that someday, love won’t hurt like this. Someday, I’ll meet someone who holds my heart gently, the way I always held his. Until then, I’m learning to love myself in that same way: deeply, fiercely, and without condition. Because real love — the kind that lasts — starts within yourself.
Heartbreak changes you. It softens some parts and hardens others, but it also teaches you what you deserve and what you should never accept again. I still have days where the pain creeps back in, but I know now that I’ll survive it. Even though he broke my heart, he didn’t break me. Little by little, I’m becoming whole again — not because of him, but despite him.