21 is right around the corner (May 5th), and wow… what a journey it’s been. As I get ready to step into a new year of life, I’ve been reflecting on everything the past 20 years have taught me. Life doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with lessons (which are often wrapped in growing pains), late-night talks with Jesus, hard goodbyes, and unexpected wins.
So, whether you’re new to college, in the thick of it, or figuring out who you are beyond the books and deadlines, here are 20 lessons I’ve learned along the way. These are the things I wish someone had told me or reminded me of when I needed it most.
1.) You are enough as you are!!
You don’t need to shrink or change to fit someone else’s idea of “worthy.”
2.) Protect your peace.
Drama, toxic friendships, and overcommitment aren’t worth your sanity.
3.) Learn to say “no” without over-explaining.
Your time and energy are yours. Guard them.
4.) Not everyone will clap for you; succeed anyway!
Focus on your goals, not the applause.
5.) Your grades don’t define you!!
Your value isn’t measured by your GPA. (But still try your best to pass your classes!!)
6.) Friendships shift, and that’s okay.
Some people are only around for a season, and others stick with you for life. Let it be what it is.
7.) Take care of your body.
You have the rest of your life with your body, so make sure you tend to it!
8.) Invest in your education, but also in yourself.
Grades matter, but so do your growth, self-care, and joy. Don’t forget to live!
9.) Be the friend you wish you had!
Show up, speak life, and stay kind.
10.) Who you’re becoming matters more than what you’re achieving.
Character is everything!!
11.) Read!!!
You can learn so much just by reading!
12.) The “perfect plan” is a myth.
Life is messy, so you might as well just roll with it. Anything can change at any time!!
13.) You don’t have to chase what’s meant for you!
Opportunities, friendships, and love. If it’s for you, it will find you!
14.) Romanticize your own life!
Make your mornings, playlists, and routines something you love!
15.) Being busy doesn’t mean being productive.
Rest is a part of success!
16.) Don’t dull your shine to make others comfortable!
Your light is meant to be seen!!
17.) Stay curious!!
About people, yourself, and the world.
18.) Mistakes are not identity markers.
Messing up doesn’t make you a mess!
19.) Celebrate yourself often!!
Your wins, big or small, deserve recognition!!
20.) You’re still becoming!
You don’t have to be “finished” by 20 or even 30. Let life unfold!
I’m not claiming to have it all figured out; I’m far from it. But what I do know is that every lesson, every detour, and every late-night breakdown has been shaping me into someone stronger, wiser, softer, and bolder. So, to all the girls still navigating life, identity shifts, big dreams, and everyday chaos, I hope these lessons remind you that you’re not alone or behind and that you’re doing better than you think! Keep growing. Keep glowing. Keep becoming. There’s so much ahead, and we’re just getting started! How exciting!! God’s plan > my plan.
