Whether you’re a first-year postgrad student, living 20 minutes from home or 12 hours away, homesickness is very real. Being away from the warmth of your own bed, the comfort meals your parents cook for you every night, and, especially, the slobbery kisses of your dog is no easy task. But trust me, you are not going through this alone.
Learning to Cope with homesickness
Going to university is undoubtedly one of the hardest transitions you will ever have to make in your life. Up until that point, you have your built-in support system around you at all times: your family, friends, and teachers you’ve known your whole life. Even the most challenging moments back home could be easily consoled by the comforting embrace of a loved one. But what should you do when they’re no longer there, physically?
The most important thing to remember is that nothing in life is permanent. This includes pain, worries, and distance. Being far away from home doesn’t mean that you’ll never be back – instead, this is just a time for you to embark on your very own adventure, to discover yourself, and to take a brave step in experiencing the world and every wonder it has to offer. We live in a world full of marvelous beauty, with so many new people to meet – think of how many lifelong friends you’re going to make that you haven’t even met yet! And don’t worry if it doesn’t happen right away; strong bonds take time to form, and it happens at a different pace for everyone. You might already have a close group of friends, you might not – university is a time to explore not only yourself, but also meet new people who will shape the person you become in the future. It may take time, but you will find them.Â
It’s also essential to remind yourself of perspective. You might’ve heard of the “glass half full” metaphor, used to focus on a positive outlook whenever possible. This might sound cliché, but I truly believe that choosing to be positive is one of the best things you can do in your life. It is absolutely transformative and has made me much happier in so many circumstances.
Let’s try this together: the homesickness consumes you, you feel lost and alone and all you want to do is go back home. Glass half full? You get to experience university at an incredible school, study what you’re passionate about, and live in one of the most beautiful little coastal towns. You have fresh ocean air to breathe, delicious foods to try, fluffy highland cows just a small hike away, and a snug bed to sleep in. You are living such an amazing life. And more good news? You get to go back home so soon, but for now, enjoy this wonderful time. It’s exciting and scary at the same time, but you are more than capable of making it through. There will come a day in the future when you will look back on your time at St Andrews and wish you were still here. Make your future self proud and live your life to the fullest.
Finally, remember this: you are so lucky to live in the time that you do. With technology like FaceTime, texting, and social media, you can talk to your family and friends every single day if you’d like. You get to hear each other’s voices and send videos back and forth – even 20 years ago, none of this was possible in the way it is now. What a time to be alive.
Okay, you’ve heard my take on this homesickness we are all feeling. The truth is, coping with it is much easier said than done. I want to make sure you have specific ideas of what you can do to make yourself feel better in a time often consumed with negative feelings. Here are my “Dos and Don’ts” on how to make the most out of a bittersweet time:
Do: make time to call friends and family, take photos, live in the moment, let yourself cry, decorate your room with everything that makes you happy, explore St Andrews, join a new society, go on a run, listen to music, find a new sweet treat spot, read a book, go for a swim, smile at everyone you see… and most importantly, remember that you are here for a reason, and you are going to have such a great time.
Don’t: spend hours scrolling on social media, think about “what could’ve been”, dwell on regrets, spend every second indoors, fall behind on assignments, skip classes, and especially don’t compare yourself to others; remember that no one is in control of your life except you. Make the most of the time you have.
So, what does this all mean? Unfortunately, homesickness doesn’t just go away. Maybe it never will, and that’s alright. But here’s a little secret: “home” doesn’t have to be just one place. “Home” is wherever you feel comfortable, safe, and excited to be. It’s a place you return to, feeling the memories rushing back because a part of your heart still beats there. “Home” can be a person, too. Wherever or whoever you find solace in will always be there for you, no matter the distance. All this to say: St Andrews is your new home, embrace it!