When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to grow up – now, all I want is to grow back down again. Princess Aurora has been replaced by Pamela Anderson, Peppa Pig has become picking pimples, and pleated skirts and bows are now… well, pleated skirts and bows (some things never change). Adulthood, to my impatient younger self, meant endless independence, late nights, and the freedom to eat cereal for dinner. The chores I once resented as a child: long Sunday walks, eating my vegetables, going to bed early – are now quiet luxuries I crave (alongside my mum’s cooking and bedtime stories). As I’m standing in the life I once dreamed of having, all I want is to go back (not literally- please don’t make me repeat my high school Physics classes). I want to rediscover all of life’s simplicity that I so carelessly took for granted. I’m starting to wonder if growing back down may just be the key to my happiness.
Bedtime used to be the ultimate battle. The idea I had to put down my book or DS or any other adventure I was enthralled in, just to fall asleep. As I got older, I revelled in my lack of sleep – who needs rest when you have Wednesday night socials, 12 pm deadlines, and existential crises to have at 2 am? Now? An early bedtime is like a luxury spa experience. If I’m wrapped up in my warm sheets before 10:30, you’d think I’d just made Deans’ List. Nothing feels nicer than my diffuser ruminating Amber, my duvet and pillows cocooning me in comfort, and my book slipping out of my hand as I drift off into a peaceful sleep.
If you told my younger self I would pay actual money for mixed salad leaves, spinach, celery, peppers, and lentils – she would have laughed in your face (before outright refusing to eat her Brussels sprouts). Vegetables were an unavoidable evil, tolerated only by the threat of no pudding. Despite my illicit history of hiding vegetables or feeding them to my dog (sorry mum!), my absolute favourite uni meal that I eat on repeat is a vegetable stir-fry made with DELICIOUS organic vegetables from Naturity.
I voluntarily incorporate vegetables into meals, I put spinach in my smoothies, and I bring salads to the library (obviously, accompanied by a sweet treat). I have favourite vegetables, it’s mind-boggling! Eating well isn’t just about health – it’s about feeling good – and making meals look incredibly aesthetic. Naturally, I still get my childish sugar cravings and comfort food obsessions (I’ve spent many nights watching The Office while eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s), but nutrition is about balance and learning to love and embrace new flavours. My vegetable obsession feels like a completely harmless one and, even if my younger self didn’t know it, I’d much rather eat mushroom risotto than beans on toast!
Remember when you were younger and you begged your parents for a dog, promising to walk, feed, groom, and love the anticipated fluffball? Yeah, me too… The reality of actually taking your new best friend out for a walk in the lashing rain and gale-force winds becomes less and less attractive as the novelty of responsibility wears off (I think this was a sign all along). Begrudgingly putting on welly boots, thermals, and hats and galavanting into the Scottish winter weather. WARNING: not for the weak. It was only ever marginally better in the summer; a time for going to the beach with your friends, or camping in the garden and being hit with the burden of going for ‘a nice long walk’. The ever-dreaded rhetorical question.
But now, I am obsessed with the ‘Hot Girl’ walk. Why? Because I am a hot girl, and I love to walk! Particularly, endlessly strolling around our coastal path, beaches, three streets, and woodlands. No matter the weather, whenever, wherever, I’m wrapped in my scarf, mittens and trench coat (often an umbrella) to brave the East Coast winds and connect with nature and my body through movement and engagement. Taking a break from the packed library, and noisy house feels liberating and fun! I schedule walks into my day as if they’re meetings; nothing beats walking with a podcast in my ears, and a hot coffee in my hands.
As a child, the idea of a long journey on a car, train, plane, you name it: was an unbearable form of torture. Strapped into a seat, counting clouds through the glass, feeling limbs and imagination go numb after many hours and miles. ‘Are we there yet’ wasn’t just an insanely irritating question; it was a plea for freedom. Now? Long journeys are one of life’s simple joys. A few hours to break away from the hubbub of everyday chaos and sit with my thoughts and imaginations. It’s exactly like going for a walk, but much more suited to when you’re feeling too relaxed to actually do the moving yourself.
As it turns out, the things the younger me used to find irritating, restrictive, and dull are exactly what I crave and need in my adult life. Structure, simplicity, and a sprinkle of childlike joy. Maybe adulthood isn’t about the freedom to do anything and everything, but about appreciating the quieter moments in life, the small and comfortable moments we once took for granted. So here’s to early bedtimes, long walks, home-cooked meals (with vegetables!), and slow Sunday journeys. After all, maybe growing down was always the best part of growing up?