Hey Nora,
You just started classes at the University of Minnesota-Duluth a couple of days ago, and you thought you’d be more excited than you are. You’ve always been a little uncomfortable with uncertainty, and college was no exception. When you were waitlisted for the University of Minnesota and UW-Madison, you did your best to make the other options work. So here your are, doing your best to convince yourself that this is the college for you. Your boyfriend is only two hours away, your best friend from high school lives in a dorm room not far from you and you could use the tunnels in the winter for the snow, so you figured it wouldn’t be that bad.
Turns out, your first year of college will be harder than you think. Winter will hit Duluth harder than it had in the past few years, and seasonal depression will hit you just as hard. Your boyfriend will find it harder to cope with his anxiety and depression in the winter, especially when you’re not home to help him, so you’ll do your best to give him your mental health because he’s all you have. Your best friend will struggle with accepting your mental health issues and she’ll stop returning your text messages and phone calls. After blaming his depression on many different aspects of his life, he’ll decide it’s your turn to take the blame, and you’ll break up, leaving you to finally cope with almost a year’s worth of traumatic experiences on your own.
I want you to know that it’s okay to ask for help. As much as it won’t feel like it, you’ll be a stronger person for asking for help when you need it. The support of your family, friends, and roommate combined with a few therapy sessions will get you back to where you were before you came to college.
Spoiler alert: you’ll decide to transfer to get away from the toxic memories of Duluth. It will be the best decision you’ll make in your teens. You’ll join an acappella group (your new form of therapy) where you’ll meet some of the most inspiring, passionate, amazing people you’ve ever met. You’ll find your place in college. You’ll find yourself. Most importantly, you’ll make it. You’ll be okay. I know it doesn’t feel like it ever will, but keep pushing, lovely. Things get so much better.
I’m so unbelievably proud of you.
Unconditional love,
Nora