(Sorry mom) Full disclaimer: this blog post has a few swear words in it.
“You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of fucks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice – well, then you’re going to get fucked.” – Mark Manson
That may seem a little frank, but it’s the truth. Although, how does one overcome the paradox of caring too much and not caring enough? I say, don’t overthink it. To help you, I’ve created my own little step-by-step process on how to live a more balanced lifestyle with ease. I can’t say that I have figured out the secret formula to having the perfect job, skin, hair, make-up, GPA, finances, or relationships (lord sauce me strength). But, I’ve made some discoveries on how to make peace with this hot mess called: life. (Triple the mess. Minus the hot.)
A road map to determining whether or not if it’s worth caring about. Next time you’re unsure if it’s worth caring, about ask yourself these questions. Excerpted from The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F*ck by Sarah Knight.
It’s okay, not to be okay.
Accept that there are times in life where you’ll have absolutely no clue what you’re doing. (Future career? Don’t know her). Trust that you’ll get there eventually, wherever that need be. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are plenty of resources at your disposal, so find the one that works best for you. Your mental and physical health are definitely worth caring about! As you may have read in my last blog post, I used to have a few bad coping mechanisms. (Tbh I still do, but I’m getting the help I need to try and overcome them).
A friendly reminder to check in on your loved ones and tell them you’re there for them.
Decide what other things you care about.
Try making a list that outlines the things you value most in life. Whatever didn’t make the list, put aside for now. Focus your time and energy on the things that make you happy, like spending time with friends & family, running, cooking, art, etc. These relationships and passions will become your foundation and eventually, help you tackle the other things that didn’t make your list. For example, I used to get really overwhelmed with school and would spend countless hours studying at the library, without taking any breaks. I’d come home late at night, not having any energy to do anything (besides lay in bed and scroll through Instagram).
Last semester, I tried incorporating more time for yoga. Now, that this practice has become a part of routine, I use it as an outlet for my emotions, fuel my soul, and keep myself grounded. In turn, this helps me balance out the stresses of being a student, while doing something I enjoy. I also like to draw up diagrams like the one bellow made by Sarah Knight. There’s just something about writing things down on paper that helps put things into perspective.
An example of how you can make your list by Sarah Knight.
Be unapologetically yourself.
Try to foster an environment that makes it easier for you to be kind to yourself. Sing your favourite song in the shower, have a 30 second dance party, read a self-help book.(you do you girlfriend). Don’t be afraid to cut out the toxic people in your life. I used to feel like I cared more about others than they cared about me. Now instead of trying to please others, I’m choosing myself.
It’s important to show up for yourself because sometimes, you’re all you’ve got. Avoid caring too much about what impression you made on that guy at that party or what those girls in your business class thought of your presentation. These are the kinds of things that you shouldn’t care about. Mainly, because you can’t control them. However, don’t go through your life wearing ‘pink lenses’ either. It’s good to experience some hardship because it helps remind you what’s good.
It’s nice to give other people compliments but don’t forget to do the same for you!
Keep yourself accounted for.
When you feel your mind slipping away to a negative place, take time to process your feelings – but don’t dwell on them for too long. Every day, there are plenty of new opportunities out there for you to seize. Try and accomplish one thing you set out to do, whether it be showering, writing a blog post, or winning a Nobel prize. Whenever I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning, I like to count down from 5 and once I hit zero I force myself to get up. Respect your deadlines as best as you can. Deadlines can be stressful, but only if you make them out to be. Try using them to motivate yourself and to avoid procrastinating!
Overall, just remember that you are enough and deserve to be happy. There is no cookie-cutter way on how to live your best life. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will become for you to look at the bigger picture and decide what’s worth caring about in your life! Feel free to follow these steps in whatever order you please and add in your own, they’re meant to be flexible. Let me know what ways work best for you in the comment sections below. I’d love to learn more about how you try to live your best life effortlessly!
“Live Life. On Purpose. With Purpose”– Kate Durie, Yoga Teacher and Desire Map facilitator.
Images obtained from:
https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/the-life-changing-magic-of/97…
https://lifelessons.co/personal-development/howtonotgiveafuck/?fbclid=Iw…