Sunday, October 10th is World Mental Health Day. This is a day for people who are struggling to use their voices and for us to stand in solidarity with our friends and family members who struggle with mental health issues.
Throughout my entire life, I have struggled with mental health issues. Depression and anxiety are very common in my family tree, so it wasn’t all that surprising to me when it hit me. I started noticing things weren’t quite what they should be until later in middle school, but didn’t understand that there was something I could actually do about it until I was in high school.
Upon this realization, I decided to talk to my mom. My mom reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that the feelings that I was experiencing were normal. I feel like for a lot of people struggling with mental health issues, it can feel very alienating and isolating. There has always been a stigma around mental health that makes people feel as if they have to go through everything alone, or at least that’s how I felt until I gathered the courage to talk to my mom. My mom told me that she noticed I was struggling and the variety of behavioral issues I was having were concerning to her, so we decided to book an appointment with my doctor.
I did not realize this at the time, but one of the main factors as to why I was struggling so much during that time period was because of my birth control. I didn’t realize that a tiny pill could mess with my head much, but it did. At the time, I really didn’t want to go off of the pill, so my doctor prescribed me an anti-depressant.
At first, I was scared. I thought that taking an anti-depressant meant that I had failed and that I couldn’t overcome my struggles on my own. But as time went on, I realized just how much it was working. I felt as if a weight was being lifted off of my shoulders; I was in a much better mood at home and school, and I felt like being more social.
Then college started. College was a rough adjustment for me at first. I lived off campus my freshman year, so I struggled to make friends. All of my friends from high school were either going to college in another state or had simply just moved on with their lives. I felt really alone and felt myself going down a dark hole. My solution to this problem was over-working myself. I was basically working a full-time job, which luckily provided a place where I met some of my best friends. While I felt like I was digging myself out of the hole I was in my freshman year, working so much burnt me out. I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was sleep when I wasn’t working or in class. So, when the pandemic hit, I was honestly grateful to have a little bit of a break from it all.
However, the pandemic brought a whole list of problems for me as well. From issues with friends and the fear of my family’s possible exposure to the virus, as most of them work in healthcare, to my own concerns of catching the virus or spreading it to someone else, I was a mess, as I’m sure many of us were at the time. So, I talked to my mom and booked a telephone appointment with my doctor. I told her about my struggles with my anxiety, and she completely validated my feelings and told me I wasn’t alone. We ended up upping my dosage.
I can confidently say that I am in a much better place than I was a year ago. I’m proud of myself for being a self-advocate throughout my journey. The girl I was in high school is very different from the girl that I am now. However, I realize that my journey is far from over and I still have a long way to go. Mental health is an ongoing battle that we will fight forever. But, sometimes it helps to know that you are not alone and that there will always be someone in your corner.
To anyone that is struggling with mental health issues, please do not be afraid to reach out to someone. There are a plethora of resources available to anyone and everyone who is struggling. Speak up. Advocate for yourself and others. Most importantly, stay strong.
HCXO,
Alyssa