Finding the balance during a confusing 4 years
I graduate from college in 6 days, and it has truly been a wild ride. Throughout my college career, I’ve attended different institutions, changed my career trajectory, made and lost valued friendships, and experienced ups and downs in my journey to wellbeing.
My experiences have taught me so much about what I care about and who I am vs. who I definitely am not. As I step into adulthood, I feel like I still know nothing since I’ve just created this perfect bubble for myself these past few years.
However, I did struggle in areas that the traditional college student does. And while I didn’t handle all these situations with the most maturity and logic at the time, I have learned how to respect myself and achieve what matters to me. Here are three difficult realms of the college experience that a lot of incoming students might encounter, and how to still prioritize yourself while powering through.
A Graduating Senior’s College Survival Guide
socializing
It’s not the end of the world if you miss a party because you’re back at your parents’ house that weekend. FOMO is very real in college, and this is exacerbated by social media. Remember that what you see on Instagram is curated. Social media is a reflection of the best moments of people’s lives.
While you might feel down about how your date with a guy didn’t go well, you’ll never see someone post about how they have a toxic relationship with their roommate or failed an exam. They’re facing the challenges of college, just like you.
Sometimes, especially for women of color, you might not be socially accepted. I was in a social sorority at my previous university and had a really difficult time because I wasn’t treated well by the other girls. Granted, I was still 18 and could have addressed this with much more grace than I did, but it affected my self-esteem significantly.
It took years for me to recover and realize that the girls probably couldn’t even remember how to spell my name anymore. I was nervous to make friends again, but I found them. It can be hard to find a solid girl gang, but once you do, you will be so glad you didn’t settle.
classes
Sometimes we forget that the point of college is to learn and succeed in our classes, so we can progress, and other times we put a little too much pressure on ourselves to excel and get the best possible GPA.
It’s so important to try and put forth your best effort because college is expensive and a privilege. While you’re shelling out so much money, you might as well learn something in the major that you selected, since this can be a great advantage in the career you want to pursue.
There is a point, though, when your motivation and work ethic can become excessive, and you need to do a serious evaluation on whether it’s worth it, mentally, physically, and logically. It’s typically not beneficial to lose a lot of sleep and skip meals to get assignments done and study because you need these for sustenance. Does it make more sense to submit the paper a day late and just lose 10%, or to overwhelm yourself in one night and submit a below-average-quality paper? Which leads to burnout.
burnout
It’s ok- and truthfully, it’s a sign of strength- to step back and acknowledge that there’s too much on your plate and that you need to cut back. It takes a strong person who is willing to put their ego aside and recognize that they don’t need to be a superhero to impress everyone with their laundry list of commitments. Even though it can be impressive to fulfill far more responsibilities than the average person, there will be consequences.
This spring, I’ve been finishing up my two degrees (one of which has two concentrations) while serving as president of a club, participating actively in other clubs, holding a part-time job, supervising for the school warmline, and applying to grad school. And like any other college student, I like hanging out with my friends regularly. With the constant stress, I noticed myself getting sick very often this semester and not delivering the best quality on my assignments.
Burnout can be prevented by being realistic with yourself and your goals. If you don’t need the extra executive board position, then maybe reconsider. If you can still graduate on time without taking 18 credits in one semester, take a step back. And remember that college is the one time when it’s socially acceptable to live freely, so enjoy the freedom and lack of expectation while you can.