Fall brings a multitude of emotions at once. There’s excitement for the changing leaves, a promise of cooler temperatures, and anticipation of events like Halloween or other fall festivities. However, behind all the cozy vibes and pumpkin spice lattes, there’s a side of the season that doesn’t get talked about as much — the sadness that sometimes comes with change. Whether it’s a breakup, academic stress, or family issues, no one plans for emotional lows to hit right as the excitement of the holidays rolls in.
It can feel even harder when everyone around you is full of excitement, but you can only think as far as the next day. The feeling of being stuck is crippling, and reaching out to those around you can feel like a burden to their own happiness.
There’s no simple way out of such a headspace. I know because I’ve been trapped in one since the fall season came around. Although I still wish for a remedy every day to do the work for me, I’ve been forced during this time to learn how to help myself. This might look different for everyone, but here are some tips that’ve helped me move forward despite the autumn sadness.
- trying new things
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If something about your current routine isn’t improving your mood, push past your comfort zone and find what does. Pick up a new hobby, such as cozy fall baking, or be a bit more creative with coloring. Trying out various things is key to figuring out what you enjoy doing.
Alternatively, try doing what you already enjoy in a new place. If you’re a reader, find a cute coffee shop to sit in, or maybe do your homework outside in the sun. There’s no shortage of possibilities if you know how to look for them.
- journaling
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I used to be skeptical of journaling; it took me a while to trust the process fully. However, I’ve found that sharing my thoughts with a piece of paper helps quiet the storm in my mind. Pick out a cute notebook and watch your stress turn into pages of writing.
If you’re not one to just sit and write, look up some journaling prompts. It’s helpful to have a starting point you can expand on in ways personal to you. For me, writing letters to myself in a journal has served as a positive self-affirmation. Our thoughts are crueler to ourselves than we often mean to be, so writing yourself a kind and encouraging letter can help build back some confidence.
- prioritize your connections
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When I started feeling low, my instinct was to pull away from everyone, but isolation only made it worse. The reality is, though, that the people who care about you want to be there, whether to listen, hang out, or just sit in silence with you.
As important as it is not to become dependent on others for boosting your own happiness, don’t shy away from those relationships because you feel like a burden. If you’re surrounded by people who do treat you as such, then work on building new connections with people who are the right fit for you. Ask that study partner if they want to grab lunch or if they want company walking back to their car. Most people would never say no to the possibility of another friend.
- don’t neglect your Physical well-being
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No matter what it is that you find yourself going through, you can’t stop responding to your basic needs. Even when I didn’t feel like eating, I still made sure I was getting in three meals a day and giving my body what it needed to be healthy, even when my mind wasn’t. Don’t neglect the importance of water either, and try to make sure you’re getting enough sleep.
Depriving yourself of these things, whether intentionally or not, is only going to make you feel worse. You can’t climb a ladder if the foundations aren’t already strong, and the same goes for our mental health.
- focus on the present moment
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The pressures of the season and having to feel better in time for events like Halloween or other plans only made my anxiety worse. I created deadlines for myself, but healing isn’t something you can put a timeline on.
For me, I found that it helps to not spend energy stressing over things happening days or weeks from where you are currently; it only creates an exhausting cycle of hanging in there purely for the sake of commitments. I’m still having to remind myself every day not to worry over an unknown future and focus on being the best version of myself I can be in the present.
Unfortunately, seasonal sadness doesn’t go away when the warm weather does. There’s no predicting the changes that’ll affect our lives and how we’ll navigate them during an otherwise happy time. I still feel the weight of my emotional isolation while watching the excitement of those around me, but it doesn’t have to be so heavy.
Learning what makes you feel better is a part of the healing process. From one sad girl to another, I hope your days start to feel easier.
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