One of my New Year’s resolutions for 2024 was to start journaling. I bought myself a cute little notebook, had all these prompts in my head, and I was ready. I love writing, so I thought it would be a good hobby for me. I thought that it could help me mentally to just get all my feelings out. But after these first three months, I’m starting to think journaling is just not for me.
People rave about the benefits of journaling, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. There are moments when so much is happening in my life. When I feel so overwhelmed, it helps me to write it all down, but it never seems to be in the aesthetic way all the other journal girlies do.
I’ve found that every time I open my journal to write, it turns into a crazy rant that just ends up making me more upset than when I started. I could go in with the best intentions of writing about all the things I’m grateful for, but I also end up writing about what’s making me mad that week or how draining my never-ending schoolwork is.
I feel like I’m generally a very happy and positive person, but something about writing in pen in paper turns me into the most cynical girl in the world. After the first few entries, I started to realize how negative I was being and took a break. I went back to my journal after about a week and sat and stared at it for an hour. I had no ideas. I didn’t like any prompts, and I couldn’t think of anything I had to say.
I think it’s maybe because I know the writing isn’t going anywhere. I usually write for a grade, to be published, or for my friends. Something about writing only for myself just turns off any creative bone I have in my body.
I also have found that it’s so easy to forget about my journal. Sometimes after a long day, the last thing on my mind is writing more, and I just want to sit in my bed and go on TikTok. But subconsciously, I know that that’s not the most productive activity for me.
I want to be able to gush about my feelings in a journal and write about all the things that make me grateful and happy. I love the idea of that, having moments in your life written in ink so you can look back and see how much you’ve grown. But this is me confessing to myself and all of you that I’m not good at it, and I’m not sure I ever will be.
I’m going to keep attempting to journal because I want this hobby to stick. I know it could be so beneficial. I just need to find a way to make it work for me. Just know if you’ve been struggling to keep a resolution or are becoming frustrated that a new pastime isn’t working for you, you’re not alone.
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