Are you tired of hearing, “It’ll happen when you least expect it,” or “The right person will come along when you stop looking for them”? Because I can say with full certainty that if I have to listen to something like that one more time, I might just go crazy.
Sometimes, it feels like the universe is out to get single people. With cute couples content on TikTok and Instagram flooding our algorithm and the recent rise in romantic movie and TV show content, the societal expectation that everyone has to find “the one” is constant.
The way I’ve come to terms with my lack of luck in the romance department has been to remember that spending time with myself and my friends isn’t any less valuable just because it doesn’t involve the stress of romantic attraction.
Finding peace with yourself
It’s scary to sit down with nothing but your own thoughts, surrounded by the glaringly obvious problem that you might not know yourself as fully and completely as you want to. However, facing that specific fear won’t just lead you to having a better concept of your own personality, but it may also strengthen your sense of self and, therefore, your confidence.
I’ve found that having a hobby outside of school is important. Baking, sewing, reading, anything you want, really, but it should be something that you do alone. It has to be something that forces you to slow down and take a breath. Something that makes you feel fulfilled.
Whenever I cultivate a new skill or find time to really reflect on who I am as my own person, I feel less incomplete without a partner.
Having a good circle
The people you surround yourself with are so important to what creates your mindset. I think it’s important to find people who lift you and make you feel content, instead of people who force you to constantly seek their validation.
The feeling I get whenever I head back home after hanging out with my friends who are like-minded and endlessly supportive is like a dopamine rush that lasts the rest of the day. You want to feel recharged after seeing your people, not drained.
A good circle of non-romantically based relationships can be just as, if not more, important than a romantic relationship. Having close friends can build up your social ability and make it easier for you to form a deep connection with a possible future partner.
You’re not the only one
It’s easy to look around at all the couples that you see on a day-to-day basis and feel jealous and frustrated. I promise you aren’t the only one who’s felt like the only single person in the world every once in a while.
It’s so common, especially in your developmental years, to compare yourself to all of your peers, but you have to remember that basically anyone who’s lived through their late teens to early twenties has felt estranged from reality in the same way that you have.
We tend to romanticize what we don’t understand. The couple holding hands in front of you on the sidewalk could’ve just fought behind closed doors, and you’d never know because you were too busy letting their happiness make you feel sorry for yourself.
If you take a second out of your day to slow down and relax, you’ll realize that you aren’t out of time. Right now, all you have to do is make yourself into the best possible version of who you are, and let love find you when you have the ability to handle it.
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Pinterest!