Like 63% of Americans, I decided to use the spare time I had during the lockdown this summer to start working out at home. At first, I followed some beginner full-body workouts, which left me feeling sore but accomplished. After a few weeks, though, my friend mentioned that she was following a Chloe Ting two-week shred.
Thanks to all of us who wanted to get in shape, YouTube fitness influencers such as Ting skyrocketed to internet fame. Her workouts became known not only for their intensity but also for their miraculous results. In two weeks, regular people saw astonishing changes in their physique, as unrealistic as it may sound. Since my friend was enjoying the experience, I hopped on the bandwagon and decided to try it.
I followed a summer shred workout, consisting of mixed-and-matched full-body, ab, leg and upper body workout videos totaling around 4- minutes a day for five days a week. I kept up with it for the whole month and actually enjoyed it. The workouts left me feeling strong and energized, and I was sure that I would see some results by the end of it.
I didn’t.
“No big deal,” I thought. At least I was being active. I decided to try another workout challenge, this one by Heather Robertson, and to try changing my eating habits as well this time.
I kept up with this one for about six weeks and downloaded a calorie-tracking app to try to keep a calorie deficit. I realized that my normal eating habits generally kept me at a calorie deficit anyway.
During all this time, I was constantly thinking about my body, what I was eating, what I would eat next, and how to lose more weight. My TikTok For You Page was filled with workout and “What I Eat in a Day” videos. I was constantly staring at my body in the mirror, picking it apart and feeling frustrated that nothing was changing. I felt like the harder I tried, the more obsessed I became with how I looked.
Suddenly, towards the end of the summer, I got extremely busy and did not have much time to work out. I got lazy to track everything I ate on the app. For a while, I half-heartedly tried to keep exercising every once in a while, but I could not make the time most weeks.
However, instead of feeling guilty or being hard on myself, I have felt much more comfortable with myself. I rarely weigh myself, I am less critical of myself, and I genuinely am more accepting of my body. I work out whenever I can squeeze it in, and I do something I enjoy, usually a dance workout.
I do not want to make the point that working out is a bad thing or that dieting is necessarily harmful. I do think it is important to remember that being healthy is not one-size-fits-all. What has worked for other people will not necessarily work for you. And it is vital to listen to your body and your mind. Forcing yourself to exercise to reach that perfect body should not come at the expense of your mental health or self-worth.
One last bit of advice that I give myself when my inner monologue is too negative: talk to yourself, encourage yourself, and love yourself the way you talk to, encourage and love your best friend. It will make a huge difference.