I’m writing this because it seems that so many people are filled with self-loathing. Even in self-deprecating humor.
People say: “I’m so stupid” instead of saying “I made a mistake”. People say: “look at what’s ugly about me” instead of saying “look at how beautiful I am”. People say: “I’m a mess” instead of “I’m trying to get myself together, and this is the best I can do for now.”
What irritates me about people saying they hate themselves is that it feeds a culture of negativity. It feeds a culture of picking out other people’s imperfections because it makes you feel better about yourself. It feeds a culture of bullies, even if that number one bully is yourself.
I understand there are reasons behind this. People struggle with mental illnesses. People struggle against injustice. People struggle against so many things in so little time because it seems that the universe keeps rolling its dice, and people can’t catch a break.
But I’m trying to tell you this can change.
You can stop hating yourself.
When you pick out something you find ugly about that stranger walking down that street, I want you to compliment them three times. When you make a mistake, I want you to stop and forgive yourself immediately. When you feel like the world’s too much at once, I want you to please take a breath, and tell yourself that there will be more chances to make things right.
Even if you don’t believe in these things at first, it’s a wonder what repetition does to us. In some ways, we’re all creatures of habit.
If you tell yourself enough times that you’re doing better, you’ll believe it. If you say you hate yourself, you’ll believe that too.
I know this does about as much good as me just shouting out a window, but I’m hoping this helps at least one person today.
Stop hating yourself.
The world’s better with you in it.