Dear Reader,
If you’ve found this article you might feel like the “perpetual silver medalist,” the “eternal third wheel,” or just another person that is never anyone’s first choice. Whether it’s not being the first to hear about a party, another term report full of B’s, or an inbox full of rejection letters, the feeling of being nothing but second-best can seriously affect your mental health and make you feel like a small fish in a big pond. In my personal experience, college life has definitely triggered thoughts of not always being “good enough,” whether or not it has to do with academic or social pressures. Here are three specific ways I’ve learned how to cope with my own “not good enough” syndrome and embrace my own talents and interests.
1. Consider seeing a counselor:
When you’re caught up with all the pressures of early adult life, it’s easy to start to feel like your work is inadequate or underappreciated and can then leave you wondering what place you have in the world. From an early age, we are taught that our talents are an integral part of our personalities and when we feel like our talents are not recognized we are left to second guess who we are, and what we are doing here. Personally, seeing a therapist has helped me work through feelings of being left behind or unnoticed and has helped me rework my inner dialogue to become more of a cheerleader instead of a critic. There is no shame in reaching out for help, and working with the right care team can be a rewarding experience!
2. Downsize, downsize, downsize!:
In my personal experience, whenever I’ve started to feel inadequate or “lost in the crowd” it is usually because I have been more concerned with quantities in my life, rather than the qualities. Hate to break it to you reader, but trying to be everyone’s favorite person is honestly impossible, and trying to be the smartest one in the classroom can be even harder. To combat this, I’ll focus on hanging out with friends I know enjoy my company, or take the time to work on creative or intellectual projects I know I am passionate about. Then, once I’ve helped myself get in touch with my honest and true self and touch base with what is and who are meaningful to me, I can finally break out of the shell of my comfort zone and start growing from there. **News flash, even the most outgoing people deal with this too!** (aka, me). Building a strong foundation full of quality friends and work you already enjoy rather than striving for the larger quantity of either, can help minimize the stress of “performing” all the time, and can give you a better base when it comes to networking and your social circle. You have to water what you already have before you sow new seeds!
3. Provide yourself with support:
Finally, having a strong foundation and relationship with yourself can help you better support yourself. If you can’t support yourself and treat yourself gently, no one else will be able to do it for you! It’s important to stay in touch with yourself and what you need, as well as cheer yourself on because at the end of the day, you are the only person that can make yourself happy. Remember to be gentle with yourself, encouraging yourself to continue to pursue your passions even if sometimes you feel stuck. There is never too much of any talent, and the world always needs more of whatever you are doing!
As the semester keeps on going, it’s important to continue pursuing your own success, no matter what other people are doing. Don’t forget reader, you are only in competition with yourself, and your talents are noticed and belong!
Photo courtesy of Pixabay