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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BU chapter.

“Stop caring what people think!”

“Just be yourself!”

“Stop seeking validation from others!”

We hear these messages all the time — on social media, from friends, on cheesy posters in school hallways — but actually listening to them seems impossible in today’s world. 

Lately, I’ve found myself questioning if I even agree with these messages. Should I really be constantly unbothered? Should I not care at all what other people think?

It’s part of human nature to think about other people’s opinions. A lot of us thrive on validation from our peers, our parents, or pretty much anyone else. As someone who is a huge people pleaser, I really struggle with this. I often only think I’m doing a good job if someone else tells me so. 

I’ve often thought that this is something about myself that I need to change. Maybe if I just stopped caring about what other people think, then I’d be happier with myself. I’ve spent a long time thinking that I won’t be truly happy until I can conquer this “flaw” of mine.

But, lately I’ve been considering that this may not actually be the case. I don’t think it’s realistic to completely get rid of my people-pleasing tendencies, especially in such a short time, and maybe that’s okay. 

I do really care about what others think, but knowing that about myself, what I do with this knowledge is more important than trying to change that fact. 

I can care what others think about me, while still actively deciding that their opinions are less important than mine. If I put more strength in my own beliefs, those opinions other people have of me matter far less.

It’s impossible to believe we can be completely unbothered, but we can decide how much the things that bother us influence our lives.

Going forward, I want to focus less on not caring and more on putting my energy into things that deserve it.

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Lauren Jordanich is a sophomore at Boston University studying English. She is a biweekly contributing writer for Her Campus and most enjoys writing lifestyle pieces, specifically about both mental health and fashion. Lauren is a transfer student who has previously written for Gen-Z online publication, Trill Mag. She is also currently a contributor to editorial lifestyle magazine, The BU Buzz. Lauren's hobbies include shopping, reading sappy romance novels, going out with friends, and listening to true crime podcasts. As a Midwesterner, her favorite place in the world is Lake Michigan and she loves tailgating and fall football games.