College is the ideal space to build meaningful connections, but when midterms and finals roll around, juggling extracurricular commitments, academic obligations, and a social life can be challenging. As studying consumes more of your time, friendships can begin to slip through the cracks. Still, staying in touch doesn’t have to feel like another item to check off of your to-do list. With a little intention and creativity, it is possible to strengthen your relationships even during the busiest stretches of the semester. Here are four tried-and-true strategies to ensure that plan to “get coffee sometime” actually happens:
1. Follow Through!
In a space as unstructured as college, dependability matters. It’s so easy to run into someone and say “let’s go get coffee sometime!” Following through on that promise is harder. No one wants to engage with someone who is flaky and inconsiderate of their schedule. And, trust me, I know it’s so hard, but don’t be late. No one would show up to an interview late, and the special people in your life deserve the same respect. Of course things can come up, but be sure to communicate when that happens! A quick “running five minutes late” text goes a long way. It’s much better than leaving a friend waiting impatiently and wondering where you are.
2. Don’t be Afraid to Text
It’s so scary to send the first text. It’s a vulnerable space to be in. You’re never sure what to say, how eager to appear, or what kind of punctuation you should use. Even though it’s hard, I urge you to put on your big girl pants, muster up all your courage, and send that text. I guarantee you, most people want to spend time with you; they are just too busy and overwhelmed with their own life to think of reaching out to you. It is totally normal to say “Hey! Haven’t seen you in a minute, would love to catch up. When are you free this week?” Make sure your question is specific and speaks to a concrete part of the plan, such as a possible date or time for your meeting. Otherwise, that conversation probably will not materialize outside of the group chat.
3. Create Time to Socialize
Be sure to block out time in your Google Calendar dedicated to socializing, preferably a few days in advance. It doesn’t have to be long or drawn-out, but even a thirty-minute coffee break with a friend can reset you and give you time to connect with a loved one. Whether you’re going to gym with your roommate or snagging a table at Ceremony with a class friend, blocking out time in advance for pre-planned social plans takes a load off. You don’t have to worry about not being social because you have already created opportunities to spend time with your friends days in advance. Now, you can focus on your studies without feeling left out or lonely. Besides, for people like myself who ascribe to the Pomodoro Technique, taking scheduled breaks with friends actually makes you more productive!
- Combine Social Time and Productivity
If you’re in a time crunch, but want to socialize, find space to do both! I guarantee you, most college students are overwhelmed by schoolwork, clubs, and errands. Create a regular study session with a friend, try out a new library or coffee shop to study in, or go grocery shopping together. It will make your errands more fun, force you to focus on the work you have to do, and create space for social connection during busy days. Combining social time with other activities or items on your to-do list is also a great way to maintain a well-balanced and healthy life amidst the increasing pressure of school. I know when I have a paper to do, the first thing I delete from my Google Calendar is the gym. But, going to the gym with a friend allows me to get the most out of my time away from my computer.
While midterms and finals aren’t the best parts of the semester, prioritizing your studying doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice other important parts of your college experience. With a little bit of planning ahead, you’ll be ready to tackle your exams with your friends by your side.
If you’re curious about how to best prepare for midterms and finals, consider checking out the Ultimate Midterm Survival Guide from a Brown U Student or How to Avoid Finals Stress: Five Steps I’m Taking to Plan Ahead This Finals Season.