Have you noticed lately that your TikTok For You page is all of a sudden full of people talking about birds they saw on their daily walks? You’re not alone. All across TikTok, people have been revealing their inner ornithologist — but it’s not because birds are suddenly trendy; it’s due to TikTok’s bird theory.
I’ll let you in on a secret: Bird theory (technically) has nothing to do with birds, and everything to do with relationships. It’s a trend in which people secretly record their significant other while discussing birds with them. Still confused? Let’s take a quick step back.
Bird theory isn’t exactly a one-of-a-kind TikTok trend. There have been many before this, and there will likely be many more after this. Ever since TikTok was created, users have had no shame in sharing their relationships and significant others with followers. In previous popular trends, couples have exposed one another’s hypocrisies, gone over future wedding must-haves, and have even uncovered the lengths they’d take to get someone to notice them. These trends can be humorous, heartwarming, and make you feel like you’re a part of the club or in on the joke. Whether you stick to scrolling or choose to participate, trends like these are fun (and sometimes insightful) for all.
So, what exactly is TikTok’s bird theory?
The purpose of the bird theory is to test your partner to see if they are observant and pay attention to the things that you are interested in. There seems to be two versions of this trend, but the end goal is the same. You can try it in the moment, where you point out a bird (even if you’re just making it up) when you and your partner are outside or near a window. Or, you can be telling your partner about your day and note that you saw a cool bird. Either way, their reaction determines whether they pass or fail the test.
If your partner tries to look at the bird, shows interest in the conversation, or asks you questions about the bird, then congratulations: They pass with flying colors! According to the theory, this means your partner listens to what you have to say, even if it’s as small and mundane as seeing a bird. However, if your partner is dismissive, or pretends to look for the bird while clearly occupied by something else, then they aren’t quite in the clear. This theory suggests that this means they could be occupied with something else, or simply not interested in what you have to say.
Results on TikTok are varied, but entertaining nonetheless.
Let’s be real, though: If your partner fails the bird theory, that doesn’t necessarily mean you need to break up with them. This theory is merely a litmus test for how your partner reacts and responds to you.
Dr. Vanessa Milagros, a mental health therapist on TikTok, addressed this topic in a video from Oct. 21. “This isn’t about testing your partner or keeping score,” she said. “Everyone misses some moments … What matters is the overall pattern. Do they usually try and meet you where you’re at?” If so, their bird theory fail was likely a fluke! But if this is actually a pattern, you may want to take a closer look at your relationship.
At the end of the day, a fun and harmless TikTok trend can’t, and shouldn’t, determine your relationship status. However, small tests like these can at least make you think about how you’re treated and can get you in the mindset for having a conversation, if it feels necessary.