Lately, a dark cloud has been looming over my life, raining on my productivity, social activities, and sanity. It’s a shadow that follows many of us, with symptoms including sleepless nights and a cloudy brain. That devil on my shoulder is doomscrolling. It whispers in my ear to swipe mindlessly as I sit to eat my instant ramen, and taps on my shoulder as I lie in bed with weary eyes.
After deleting the focus app on my phone in a fit of rage, it dawned on me that I had to put an end to this addiction. There is no clear answer for how long it takes to break a habit, but my optimistic self decided one week was more than enough to gauge the effects of going cold turkey on doomscrolling.
I’ve got real big expectations
One thing I’ve realized is that the best way to motivate myself is to present a challenge or reward. Whether it’s a sweet treat after a homework lock-in or an imaginary race with myself to finish chores in time, my productivity unlocks in a way no screen-time block could. So giving myself the challenge of avoiding doomscrolling to write this very article launched me into a new league of focus.
Alongside this jolt of motivation came unrealistic expectations. I instantly consulted my journal with the plan to ground myself in physical media each day and take note of my week-long journey. Soon I relearned that I couldn’t build a new habit while attempting to break one. Journaling daily has never been my strong suit, but that’s a topic for another article.
I also approached this task with the idealized vision that I would come out the other side reborn, no longer weakened by the urge to scroll. I would write this magnificent think piece on the power of a clean break from TikTok, and I would be reinvigorated to practice the hobbies I love so much. But would this truly be the case?
From highs to lows
The first couple of days were an easy ride, with minimal bumps and a comforting sense of calm. I’m not a stranger to having no-scroll days; in fact, I’ve gone months with my screen time hitting record lows of an hour a day. I felt consistently inspired, knowing those numbers are possible. I only logged on to check the videos my long-distance boyfriend sent, a necessary task, or to search something up out of curiosity. I made an effort to avoid the FYP that usually sucks me into oblivion and makes me abandon all responsibilities.
Releasing myself from the constant noise of influencer news and the latest trends gave my mind a fresh polish. When I sat down to read the book that has shamefully overstayed its welcome on my “currently reading” list, I actually resisted the urge to pick up my phone every 10 minutes. This let my brain settle without getting bombarded by some earworm 15-second TikTok sound. I also put more energy into creating and posting my own TikToks, which I rarely have the drive to do.
As the days progressed, however, I noticed myself subconsciously opening the app when I sat down to eat, or anytime a long gap of silence occurred. Unless I ate meals with friends, I always had to fill the silence with some sort of distraction. While I replaced the scroll with a TV show, it was unsatisfying to realize I couldn’t quite master that hurdle. Getting comfortable with silence is a beast in its own right.
Annoyingly, there were days that I broke my vow. It was inevitable that I wouldn’t achieve a perfect streak. These instances were minimal and typically only lasted 20 minutes at a time, but even then I could feel how they sucked the life out of my productivity streak. Stopping to scroll for a few minutes makes time feel like it’s slipping out of my grasp and puts my nervous system into a frenzy as I lose sleep or have to catch up on an assignment.
Another downside was that I often replaced the scroll with another screen: my laptop playing Adults or Sterling Point to fill the space. While I love television and I think it adds more to my life than TikTok, I had hoped to dive into my more enriching hobbies during this period of Zen. Reading took a back seat, and only one of my creative hobbies sparked my interest.
a moment of reflection
My plan was faulty, not fully fleshed out, but my heart was in it. I can’t say I completed my challenge in the purest sense, but I gained a new awareness of my horrible habit and learned valuable lessons along the way. I realized how much time can run away when you’re locked into a social media bubble, and that sitting in silence beats constantly worrying about the trend cycle.
Even though I relied on television as a form of escapism, I found a sense of intentionality that doomscrolling always lacked. This experience also helped me recognize that too much productivity can be bad. Relaxing sometimes asks us to turn our brains off and just enjoy what’s in front of us.
Scrolling doesn’t have to mean doom and despair. I wanted to write this article despite my slip-ups, because the reality is, I won’t be off TikTok forever. I’ll tune in to see what’s going on and have my cathartic scroll breaks here and there. But when my mind slips back into its automated state, I trust I’ll know how to put my phone down and take control of the narrative.