Why doesn’t my college life look like my Instagram feed? What happened to the ease of making new friends, the excitement of new classes, or the thrill of cute boys and college parties we see in the movies?
Don’t get me wrong—I love my friends, my major, and the clubs I am a part of. But would I call these years the “best four years of my life?” I would hesitate to say so. If these are my best, I fear for the years to come.
There’s a certain illusion that we are granted as freshmen entering our first year of university. Excited to leave our hometowns, we are bubbling with the idea of what’s to come—a chance to reinvent who we are.
I still remember sitting on my dorm bed for the first time, giggling with my roommate about my boyfriend back home and marveling over the idea of being free for the first time. While that was quickly overcome by homesickness, breakups, and the normal environmental changes that most first-years experience, freshman year was everything my parents told me college would be. It felt like a classic coming-of-age movie.
However, come fall of sophomore year, the fever-dream that was my first year at Boston University slowly fell apart. Gone was the security of being new to university, and instead was the pressure of finding out who we were meant to be. Exciting, in theory—but the idea that we had time to do so felt like a lie.
“No one knows who they’re supposed to be at your age,” is what most adults would tell me.
Rationally speaking, they were right; who knows who they’re going to be at age nineteen? However, it became quickly apparent that those who did know got ahead. Those who did know scored the dream internships. Those who did know got the research positions. And those still exploring the world of endless opportunity, like me, watched them as they fell behind.
On top of this internal pressure, the skyrocketing $90K tuition at BU governed my every step—my mental and physical health were an afterthought: why did my health matter when each breath felt like it cost a dollar?
It was difficult to prioritize social relationships, and my life quickly felt like my success was dependent solely by the confines of my resume and “experience” section of my LinkedIn profile. While my GPA rose, my confidence dwindled. As ChatGPT became my best friend, I slowly stopped confiding in the strength of my own mind.
It’s now the spring of my sophomore year, and I’ve never felt more lost within my identity. I’m a newly switched biology major gaining the foundational grasps of chemistry while simultaneously applying for research and internship positions using scientific vernacular I couldn’t tell you the definitions of.
Once more, while I’m ambitious enough to try and take advantage of everything a big school like BU offers, I fall apart the moment I spread myself too thin. Frustrated and lost, I’ve missed every application deadline, every opportunity I could have grasped for this semester.
However, I know I’m not alone. A study tracking stress levels in students from 2010 to 2020 exposed a 30% increase in the number of students indicating “extreme stress” during their college years. While the common cliche encourages us to make mistakes, the ridiculous expectations imposed upon young adults entering their twenties in this day and age makes us feel otherwise.
This is why, while I find myself learning and growing from each fault, I firmly believe that college shouldn’t be the best four years of your life. Learn, grow, and explore. Do what you can, and stay open-minded. But don’t expect these integral years of growth and transformation to be entirely fun, or easy, even.
There is no Google Calendar in the universe that will grant us the perfect balance of social life, academics, internships, research positions, extracurricular activities, career preparation, hobbies, exercise, and self-care time, all while having the ultimate college experience.
We are simply human, which is all we can be. Your college experience is yours for a reason.
As long as you are trying your best, you are right where you need to be.
Want to keep up with HCBU? Make sure to like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, check out our Pinterest board, watch us on TikTok, and read our latest Tweets!