You think sex has to look a certain way? Sit down. No, really — stay seated. Today, we are talking about wheelchair-friendly sex positions that work smarter, not harder.
I imagine if you clicked on this article, you are in one of three groups: a mobility-impaired baddie who is ready to have bomb sex, someone who is excited to get it on with a wheelchair user, or a person who is curious about the logistics of sex with disability. Whoever you are, welcome! For Disability Pride Month, I’m celebrating access, autonomy, and orgasms, with expert-backed info tailored to all of the people above.
To start us off, I want to set the record straight: people with disabilities are having sex. Great sex! And it isn’t all that different from able-bodied sex. Stefanie Neumann, a licensed sex educator from JackandJillAdult.com, says that “wheelchair users can have every bit of fun in the bedroom (and beyond) as anyone else, it’s just that you’ve got to experiment with comfort, positioning, and a dash of creativity.” That can mean using supports or modifying traditional positions.
When you add disability to the equation, incredible communication is a non-negotiable. In the same way that each partner has different interests that you want to learn about, chair users all have different levels of mobility and genital function. So, these positions won’t work for every person. However, be open to finding innovative solutions, great sex is about the exploration of pleasure! As Neumann says, “Above all, remember: pleasurable sex is less about how flexible your body is and more about how open and honest you are with each other.”
Like all sex, everything comes down ot communication. “For a partner who isn’t in a chair, ask questions, be patient, and don’t make assumptions”, says Neumann. “Helping your partner in and out of certain positions is part of the intimacy, literally. Lean in, don’t shy away.” That type of closeness and trust sounds straight out of a romance novel. “And if you both use wheelchairs, teamwork becomes key,” she adds, “brace each other, switch up who’s on top, experiment with shapes that help you line up comfortably.”Â
5 Wheelchair-friendly sex positions to try:
- The Throne Room
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This position is my favorite because it has such a great range (And may or may not be inspired by Fourth Wing). It can work well with two wheelchair users, or for any couple where one partner is wheelchair bound. Plus, both roles are accessible for those with limited mobility.
Here’s how it works: Partner One is seated on an elevated surface, then Partner Two positions below them in a seated position. The key is that both partners are seated in a supported, comfortable position, and Partner Two can reach Partner One’s genitals with their mouth or hands.
You get where I’m going with this?
This setup is super versatile and can be adapted for different bodies and spaces. Picture this: Partner One sits on the kitchen table while Partner Two eats them out from their wheelchair below. Or Partner One sits on a shower seat while Partner Two sucks them off in a kneeling position. Or Partner One on the bed while Partner Two uses their hands on Partner One from a wheelchair. This position is so versatile and always offers a great view.
- The Bear Hug
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This position is perfect for a couple with one or two wheelchair users. Partner One remains in the wheelchair, and Partner Two sits on a stool positioned directly in front of the wheelchair, facing away from their partner. Partner One can then cuddle or reach over Partner Two to stroke their genitals. This position can also be modified so that both partners are seated on the bed, and Partner One rests back on the headboard. Unless Partner One is significantly taller, I suggest they sit on a couple of pillows for a better angle.
- Cowgirl
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Yeehaw, baby! Y’all knew this one was coming. And once you try it, I hope you’ll be coming too. Cowgirl is a classic for wheelchair users with an able-bodied partner. In this position, Partner One stays seated. This can be in a wheelchair, on a bed, on the floor, or wherever floats your boat. If you choose the wheelchair option, make sure to ask if Partner Two’s legs are comfortable. Partner Two then straddles Partner One, allowing Partner Two to penetrate them. Then ride like a cowgirl. If it’s not a penetration situation, this is a great opportunity to try tribbing!
Of course, you can use the Reverse Cowgirl variation for this move, too. Reverse cowgirl may offer an extra level of comfort if Partner One chooses to stay in their wheelchair. To hit a Reverse Cowgirl, Partner Two simply turns around and rides facing away from Partner One with their feet planted in front of them.
- Sideways 69
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In this position, Partner One and Partner Two both lie sideways on a bed, with their heads aligned at each other’s hips, allowing for mutual oral, toy, or manual stimulation. Think of it as a low-effort, high-reward modification to 69, because nobody has to hold a plank to make it happen. This position can be accessible for one or both partners with limited mobility. It’s cozy, it’s intimate, and it’s pleasure-focused.
- Lift & Love
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For people with limited mobility, props and supports can be a huge help when it comes to access. Take missionary with the legs over the shoulders as an example: This classic position can be tough for wheelchair users due to the core and hip strength required. That’s where a wedge cushion comes in. With added support in the right areas, this position (and many others) becomes much more achievable and enjoyable. Placing the small end of the wedge under the mid-to-upper back and the lower end under the hips helps elevate Partner One’s pelvis, creating an angle that allows for deep penetration with less physical strength. Then Partner Two can support Partner One’s legs over their shoulders if it is comfortable.
Whether you’re rolling solo, with a partner who has wheels, or mixing it up however you like, there’s no one way to play. Don’t be afraid to take these sex positions and get creative with them. Modify however you prefer and find your pleasure!