In the wise words of Mickey Mouse, “Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog.” ICYMI, July 16 is National Hot Dog Day, and even though I don’t eat red meat (so I have actually never eaten a hot dog, and I probably never will), that doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways to celebrate our most sacred holiday. Case and point: National Hot Dog Day sex positions. (Yes, I’m so serious)
For a little context, National Hot Dog Day falls on July 16, smack dab in the middle of National Hot Dog Month (two things I wasn’t aware existed until ten minutes ago). This holiday is a good old American tradition that encourages restaurants and gas stations to give out free or discounted hot dogs: Chicago dogs, veggie dogs, chili dogs, you name it! So, why not take the phallic nature of a hot dog and bring it into the bedroom?
ICYMI, these sex positions put all the focus on the weiner. (And no “weiner,” no problem — you can easily do these positions with a strap-on, too.) So, whether you are a long-time hot dog aficionado, or a glizzy virgin like myself, I invite you all to celebrate National Hot Dog Day in the horniest way possible, with these four hot dog-inspired sex positions.
- Hot Dogging
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This position is the most literal interpretation of this prompt. Partner One situates their weiner (penis or toy) between Partner Two’s vulva in a missionary style position. It should look like a hot dog in a bun. Then the couple grinds. This is ideal for both penile and clitoral stimulation, and it can serve as its own act or as a great lead-in to penetrative sex. Partner One can also grind their wiener between Partner Two’s thighs or breasts for variation.
- The Glizzy Gobbler
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I can already feel my brain rotting as I write “glizzy gobbler,” but this position is a fan favorite. Partner One lies on the bed, face up, with their head dangling off the edge. Then, Partner One orally pleases Partner Two. This position can be pretty vulnerable, so it is important that partners maintain a visual check in code, since a verbal one won’t be possible for Partner One. I suggest a thigh squeeze to let your lover know if you need a break, a breath, or if things have become too intense. This position is super intimate and a fabulous way to switch it up.
- The Gas Pump
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We all know that the best spot to get a hot dog is the gas station, so let’s honor their contribution to weenie history. In this position, both partners are standing. Partner One lifts their leg over Partner Two’s shoulder. Partner Two penetrates and voila, they’re pumping gas. If you do not have the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader flexibility that this position requires, same. Thankfully, a quick modification where Partner One sits on a counter, bed, or desk will give you the same deep penetration.
- Hot Buns
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Double the buns, double the fun! To achieve this position, Partner One sits on the bed with their arms supporting from behind and legs sprawled out in front. Partner Two sits in their lap with legs wrapped around their waist. From there, partners can try tribbing and rubbing their buns (vulvas) together. If Partner One has a wiener instead of buns, penetration is so hot in this position.
Happy National Hot Dog Day to one and all! I hope these sex positions help make your holiday a little more steamy.