Sometimes when I’m feeling down, I want to escape into my own world where I make the rules: where fairies are real, where I can lock my enemies in a swimming pool, where I can woohoo with Don Lothario, and where I can rule as a tyrannical God. Thankfully, for other Gen Zers and me, that world exists in The Sims — and in a way, it’s a form of therapy.
Gen Z is a nostalgic generation, often hopping back to old trends and prominent themes from childhood. And the Sims community is no different: You may have even seen celebrities like Kylie Jenner talk about how she plays The Sims with her sister, Kendall, for hours. “We play, and we make our families, and then we just thought of a new idea,” Jenner said on an April episode of Kid Cudi’s podcast, Big Bro. “Now we make people that we know — so we’ll make our friends and stuff, and then all live in a house together. And it’s just fun.”
And while gaming is something you’d typically associate with men, that’s not entirely true when it comes to The Sims. Phillip Ring, an executive producer on The Sims 4, revealed some key demographics of the game at the 2023 Game Developers Conference: Most notably, that women make up 64% of the game’s audience.
For players of The Sims, it’s not just about building cool houses (though that is a huge part of it). For many Gen Z women, the game serves as a way to cope with things going on in their lives — like stress, a longing for connection, and a need to run away from their current situation — and to make the things weighing on them IRL feel just a little bit lighter.
I just want to escape for a few hours and just worry about my little Sims.
Anna McFarland, 23
Anna McFarland, a 23-year-old lifelong Sims enthusiast, turns to her game when life gets overwhelming. “One of the times I get the biggest itch to play is when I’m really busy, and there are lots of things happening in my personal life,” McFarland tells Her Campus. “I just want to escape for a few hours and just worry about my little Sims.” Playing with her Legacy Challenge family (which is years in the making) is a go-to de-stresser.
Some players are keen to play games that mirror the challenges and triumphs of their own lives. Katie Lynch, 22, says she “escaped” her small Missouri town and is living her dreams as a grad student in London. Her Sims are cut from the same cloth. “My go-to scenario is usually making a family where the daughter grows up, moves to a big city, and excels at a career or aspiration,” she says. “Now that I think about it, this may be a manifestation thing.”
And we can’t forget the serial romantic Simmers. Brianna Coffman, 22, says she loves “making a male Sim and having him get with everyone within a single Sim day,” and thinks this links to her need for connection. “I’ve found myself wanting to always be with someone, and I find being alone difficult,” Coffman tells Her Campus.
Sometimes, all we want in life is control, and that’s exactly what you get when controlling your Sims. So, it makes perfect sense that The Sims has become therapeutic for so many players. “The Sims provides a safe, controlled way for individuals to process their own emotional experiences,” Dr. Lori Bohn, a board-certified psychiatric-mental health nurse practitioner, says. “Unlike everyday life, where many scenarios present unknowns and potentially negative consequences, this game enables users to practice dealing with similar situations in a completely controlled manner.”
Bohn says that players may choose scenarios that mimic the real-life situation they’re dealing with. “For example,” she says, “an individual experiencing feelings of powerlessness may develop a Sim who quickly advances in their career and achieves wealth, providing the user with temporary feelings of confidence and control.” Bohn adds that the game may also serve as an opportunity to play out possible emotional situations, showcasing potential responses and relationship outcomes. “This will not replace actual processing,” she emphasizes, “however, it can assist with organizing one’s thoughts and emotions to understand better how they truly feel about the situation.”
And, for someone like Lynch, hashing out their problems on The Sims is what helps them cope. “Right now, it’s a mix of financially accessible, easy, and nostalgic,” she says, equating the game to her form of therapy.
Kaila Hattis, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says that players using idealized versions of themselves is very similar to behavioral rehearsal, an exercise used in therapy. “This is likely allowing them to explore and identify emotions they have suppressed previously,” says Hattis. “It also could allow them to gain clarity regarding their thoughts and emotions without fear of confrontation.”
The stories were for me at first, roleplaying the type of life I could one day live. But now, it’s me experiencing the diversity of paths one life could take.
Katie Lynch, 22
Lynch started by playing out possible future versions of her life — but now, it’s turned into something much more. “I’ve been playing it since I was 12, and the stories were for me at first, roleplaying the type of life I could one day live,” she says. “But now, it’s me experiencing the diversity of paths one life could take.”
While The Sims isn’t replacing real therapy anytime soon, it’s clear that for many players, it offers a sense of sentimentality, control, a positive space to process emotions, and a break from the unpredictability of everyday life. So if a pick-me-up means disappearing into your dream world to build whimsical houses, woohoo with townies, or occasionally remove a pool ladder, there are worse ways to cope.
If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950-NAMI(6264). For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357). In an emergency, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or call 911.