Firsts are freaky, but they don’t have to be. In Her Campus’ series My First Time, we’re answering the burning questions you might be uncomfortable asking about IRL. In this article, we tackle what you need to know before going to in-person therapy for the first time.
I still remember when I finally started therapy. I always felt that it took longer than it should have for me to finally sit down with a counselor, but what matters is that I got there eventually. Unfortunately, the uncertainty doesn’t stop after you book the appointment. Sometimes the very thing you’re seeking to work on can impact how you feel about going to therapy at all — whether anxiety about letting someone else in or doubting that therapy will work at all.
According to Her Campus’s 2025 Mental Health Survey, 27% of Gen Zers who don’t attend therapy say they don’t know where to start. And that’s where the experts come in.
Working with a therapist is also its own kind of growing process. You’re meeting a complete stranger and have to figure out how to communicate all the things you’re worried about with them, with the hopes that they understand what you’re talking about. With May and Mental Health Awareness Month on the horizon, I talked to two licensed psychologists, Dr. JJ Kelly and Dr. Melissa Gluck, about everything you should consider before trying in-person therapy for the first time.
It’s important to know that therapists are not a monolith. Dr. Kelly notes that what therapy exactly entails depends on who your therapist is. “You might get the ‘nod and smile’ therapist who lets you monologue the majority of the time,” Kelly tells Her Campus. “Or you can get emotional skills training with a DBT(Dialectical Behavior Therapy) therapist — where they teach you new skills and challenge you to use the new skills to change and improve your life.”
Regardless of the variety of therapy you get, Dr Gluck says, “Talk therapy is (or at least should be) a judgment-free zone to explore your inner world. It’s not just venting—although there’s definitely space for that. It’s about noticing patterns, making sense of your emotions, and building up a solid toolkit you can actually use in real life.”
Repeated time with a therapist could vary from meeting to meeting. “Some sessions, we’re putting out fires or trying to create a plan to get you from point A to point B,” Gluck says. In other sessions, we’re diving deep into your past to understand what’s showing up in your present. The beauty of talk therapy is that it can flex with you—it’s meant to support who you are that day, not just some version of you that ‘has it all together.’”
Be patient with yourself and honest with your therapist, and over time, Gluck says, “you start to connect the dots between how you feel, what you do, and what you really want. From my experience, that’s usually when clients fall in love with the process.”
A PRE-EMPTIVE BRAIN DUMP OR REFLECTION CAN HELP YOU PREPARE.
You don’t really need to do anything to prepare for your first therapy appointment — unless you’re using insurance. “Come as you are,” says Gluck. “Be nervous, anxious, curious, hopeful — it’s all part of the experience.” If you do want to do some preparation, though, crack open that journal (or a blank document) and take some notes about yourself.
Having a brain dump session could also be beneficial before your first session. “I would suggest that you sit down and brain-dump, in writing, what your objectives are for going to therapy,” Kelly says. “What do you hope to learn? What do you hope to change? What are your target behaviors? (i.e., the behaviors you currently engage in and know make your life worse instead of better… the behaviors you want help changing).”
Entering that first session with your goals in mind can help ground you and remind you why you’re trying therapy. Dr. Gluck adds, “It can feel a little less overwhelming to show up with a few thoughts already in mind (especially if you’re a type-A girl like me).” She suggests these prompts: “What made you reach out now? What are you hoping to get out of this experience? What makes you nervous or unsure about starting therapy?” Some of these are questions your therapist might even ask in a first session, so it’s great to have an answer locked in already.
In-person therapy has some big benefits.
While online therapy can be an accessible tool to take control of your mental health, there are some true benefits to IRL therapy. “In-person therapy is its own kind of magic,” Gluck says. “The micro, non-therapy moments — walking into the office, taking off your coat, settling into the space — bring a level of humanity that’s hard to replicate in our virtual world. Plus, it’s a totally distraction-free zone. No dogs barking, no laundry piles, no mental tabs about dinner burning in the oven. You’re just there, focused.”
That doesn’t mean in-person works for everyone, though. “The tradeoff,” she says, is that “in-person therapy takes more time, energy, and planning, which isn’t always doable depending on your schedule or life stage.”
Some therapists offer both in-person and online sessions, so finding someone who does both could help you get access to the in-person advantages and the online convenience. Whichever you choose, prioritize what will help you the most.
TAKE THE TIME TO FIND A THERAPIST THAT WORKS FOR YOU.
If you’ve been considering therapy, don’t put it off until it feels like an emergency. “This is the most important thing to me: You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to start therapy,” Gluck says. “You don’t need a crisis, a diagnosis, or permission. Therapy is one of the few spaces in your life that’s entirely for you: your thoughts, your fears, your stories, your goals — all of it gets to show up.”
Of course, showing all of that complicated mess that makes you you can be daunting. “Opening up to a total stranger can feel weird, emotional, even scary,” Gluck says. “Take full advantage of the free phone consultation before committing. Most therapists will have the credentials, but not all of them will have the personality you’re looking for.”
How do you figure out what you need? Consider the kind of dynamic you want with your therapist, and how a certain kind of environment might be most helpful to achieving your therapy goals. “There’s no wrong answer — just choose what feels like the best fit for you,” Gluck says. “It’s just like dating: they may be good on paper, but the connection just isn’t there. Listen to that instinct.”
Be patient with yourself and know that the first therapist you talk to might not be the right one for you. Try keeping a journal — to write paragraphs in or just bullet points — to help you remember moments you might want to cover or questions you have. Finally, remember to be honest with your therapist. They want to help you just as much as you do.