We are what we continually do. That is the nature of human beings. If you find yourself continuing to do things that aren’t good for your well-being like these five things, it may be time for a change.
- stop worrying about what other people think
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Didn’t you know? It’s your world and everybody else is just living in it! On a serious note, when you give up the desire to be liked by anyone other than yourself, you will be free.
Here are the top three ways to do stop worrying about what other people think:
- Mind your own business
- Let go of people-pleasing
- Think about why you care in the first place. Understand that societal pressures influence how you and everybody else in the world think. Do you care about being rejected? Judged? Excluded? When you get to the root of your worry, then you can begin to understand and change your mentality.
Sure, you can value the opinions of those that matter to you, but stop seeking validation from external sources. Stop letting people have the power to influence your mood or how you view yourself.
- Stop Complaining
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All that time you spend complaining can be used to do something to better the situation that you are in. Whining is one of the biggest wastes of effort because it truly does nothing to get you what you want. Worst – if you complain about things that you aren’t willing to change. For example, let’s say that you keep telling your friends about that one person you’re in a situation-ship with all the bad things they do to you. Your friends give you the same advice over and over again, and you still do nothing to alleviate or change the problem, constantly complaining about what’s wrong. Good friends are not going to let you keep being their shoulder to cry on for something you are only willing to complain about, and you shouldn’t want them to either.
In general, if one wants to have a better life they should try to have more positive self-talk. Complaining is speaking all negative things into the air.
Instead of complaining:
- Let go
- Take responsibility for your actions
- Practice gratitude for the success you do have
It’s okay to have a pity party every once in a while. People make mistakes, but dwelling does no good. Remember that being sorry for yourself keeps you from being mentally strong in the long term.
- stop being on your phone so much
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This one is self-explanatory. Our generation is addicted to our phones and our attention span is waning. Be more engaged with your surroundings, and be connected with the people around you and not just the ones through the screen.
Here’s a list of very specific things to do that don’t involve your phone:
- Hit leg day
- Clean out your closet and donate all the clothes you don’t wear
- Read a book! (10/10 would recommend)
- Practice your makeup
- Make your bucket list
- Empty your email inbox (on your computer)
- Find a journal and do a mind dump
- Plan your outfit for tomorrow
- Go on a walk with no music and just the sounds of the environment (*gasps*)
- stop taking things personally
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When you feel judged or criticized, try to remember that a lot of the time, whatever someone says or does isn’t about you. Almost always, it’s really about them. It may be hard to not feel hurt when you think you’ve been judged or criticized, and it’s important to acknowledge those feelings. This is also the time when #3 comes into play—stop worrying about others.
When it comes to shady behavior, understand that passive-aggressive behavior from someone else has more to do with them than it does you. Unless someone explicitly states that they have an issue, you shouldn’t assume there is. You may be able to read a close friend pretty well to know what’s going on with them, but the point is that their actions or behaviors should not ruin your day and cause you a personal affliction.
Jumping to conclusions can be far more detrimental to your well-being than letting something go until it may or may not need to be addressed again.
- Stop comparing yourself to others
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“Comparison is the thief of joy.” —Theodore Roosevelt
Comparing yourself robs you of your personality. Comparing yourself takes away your sense of self. Stop doing that to all the individual, imperfectly perfect parts that add up to you.
How to stop comparing yourself:
- Recognize your triggers. Is it when you see other people on social media that you feel the need to compare yourself? Is it when you see a cute couple on the street and think about your single life? Or maybe it’s when you’re around friends that are doing “better” than you? Recognize that comparison can destroy not only yourself but your relationship with other people. Get to the root of the source.
- Accept who you are and where you are in your timeline of life.
- Celebrate others without envy.
- Remember that the only person that you should be comparing yourself to is yourself. Be a better you than you were in the past. Be proud of how far you’ve come.
Here’s another good article to check out for more tips to stop comparing yourself.